


art class muse

by spacing_in



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Ben is 19, F/M, Fluff, Mutual Pining, POV Ben Solo, POV Rey (Star Wars), Pining, Rey Needs A Hug, Rey is 18, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Soft Ben Solo, Super Duper Soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-19
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:40:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 36,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22792654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacing_in/pseuds/spacing_in
Summary: When rebellious Rey is placed in the afterschool art class to keep her from suspension, she meets soft artist Ben Solo and everything changes.
Relationships: Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 126
Kudos: 236





	1. creative ultimatum

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was prompted using @ReyReyButt on twitter’s Reylo AU generator, thank you to them for making such a cool source of inspiration.
> 
> Feedback is greatly appreciated!

“And just what do you think you’re doing, rat?”

The metal can hit the floor with a clang, and Rey’s stomach dropped with it. The flashlight that Naboo High’s janitor Unkar Plutt was holding illuminated her and the brick wall behind.

Uh oh, she’d been caught. Rey opened her mouth to speak but was cut off by Plutt’s gruff tone.

“No, don’t bother bullshitting me!” He huffed, stepping closer to the wall and squinting at the freshly-sprayed paint on the bricks.

“Unkar Plutt is a boorish oaf.” He uttered slowly, staring blankly at the wall as his face turned redder. He leaned down into Rey’s personal space, his stale breath washing over her. She held back a gag.

“An oaf? Care to explain?” His face was now as red as the spray paint; Rey realized that he didn’t know what the word meant.

How ironic, she thought, as a snicker passed her lips.

“You think it’s funny?! We’ll see what Skywalker has to say about that!” He spat, grabbing Rey by the arm before she could escape and dragging her to the principal's office.

═════ ∘◦ ☽ ◦∘ ═════

“Rey, what are you doing at school on a Friday evening?” Luke Skywalker asked inquisitively as Rey was shoved into his office by Plutt.

“Principal Skywalker, I caught Rey vandalizing school property after hours—“

”Don’t fret yourself, Mr Plutt. I can take it from here.”

With a piercing glare at Rey, Plutt left Luke’s office and silence fell upon the room.

“So you’ve taken to expressing your art skills, hm?” Luke asked Rey, who hung her head low. She knew it was not a question to be answered.

“This is your fifth warning this semester.” Luke’s voice was stern. Rey shook her head rapidly.

“No sir, it’s only my, uh, fourth!” She insisted, her clumsy pause defying her.

“Let us count, shall we?” Luke asked rhetorically again, holding up his hand as he began to list her misdemeanours.

“First you superglued Professor Threepio’s belongings to his desk”

“He’s terribly rigid, I thought his desk should reflect that” Rey shrugged.

“Then you locked fellow student Armitage Hux’s emotional support cat in the supply closet.”

“Millicent was about to attack me! I had to protect myself!”

“Thirdly, you took the liberty to set every clock in the building forward an hour. That trick took some time to realize.”

Rey was silent, trying her best to suppress a smirk. She wasn’t sure if Principal Skywalker’s pun was intentional, which made it all the funnier.

“Most recently was the hot sauce in the coffee incident, though I suppose you couldn’t have known that Professor Maz has a capsaicin allergy”

The silence that hung in the air was unbearable for Rey. It’s never her intention to hurt others with her pranks.

“One, two, three, four.” Luke reaffirmed, counting the pranks off his fingers.

”You know what this means, Rey.” Luke bowed his head, looking at her sternly.

Rey’s stomach plummeted. Five warnings meant that Rey would have to go up against the school board to prove herself worthy of keeping a place at Naboo High. With grades like hers, that would be impossible.

“Principal Skywalker, I swear this won’t happen again. Please, it doesn’t have to come to this—“ Rey could feel stinging tears brew in her eyes as reality hit her.

Luke raised his hand once more, and Rey fell silent as Plutt had.

”Rey, I understand that things aren’t easy for you.” He spoke gently but his tone was disappointed.

“Do you? Do you really?” Rey couldn’t control the scorn in her voice as she spoke. She loathed when people took pity on her.

Her hands balled into fists and she took a deep breath. Don’t show weakness, she thought to herself as she recomposed.

“I’m fine, everything’s okay. Just kick me out and be done with it.” Rey’s arms folded across her chest; if she was being suspended, she’d do it on her own terms.

Luke stared at her for a long moment, analyzing Rey, before shaking his head and sighing.

“No. That will not be happening.” Luke refused, to Rey’s surprise.

“But you will not go without punishment. However, it appears your previous detentions have done little to change your ways, so I feel it’s best for a new course of action.”

A wave of relief washed over Rey, as she realized she was getting a second chance.

“I’ll do anything, sir,” Rey confessed, breathless. Luke smiled.

“Your eagerness is promising. Very well, then,” Luke stood up from his desk, walking over to the window and looking out to the dusky school grounds.

“Perhaps you consider yourself an artist?” Luke pointed to the incriminating spray-painted brick wall. Rey’s stomach began to tie knots.

“Artist Leia Organa will be hosting an after-school art course starting Monday on campus. The classes will initially run daily for a trial period. You are required to attend the course for the next two weeks, at which point Ms Organa will analyze your work and see if you’ve invested yourself in the course. If that is the case, you stay. If not, then this incident will have to be escalated.”

“Let me get this right… I’ve got to go to a painting class for a bit?” Rey snorted at the absurdity of her ‘punishment’.

“Was that a complaint, Rey?” Luke quipped, causing Rey to shake her head furiously

“No, Principal Skywalker, not at all! I’ll be there Monday, thank you SO much for this opportunity to prove myself once more.” Rey rambled, gathering herself as she headed for the door.

“Stay out of trouble now Rey, I mean it. This will be your last chance.” there was not a spark of humor in Luke’s voice. Rey nodded solemnly, continuing to exit the office.

“Unkar Plutt is a boorish oaf, hm? If you used such extensive vocabulary in your schoolwork, you’d be top of the class.” Luke mused as Rey slipped out the door.

═════ ∘◦ ☽ ◦∘ ═════

“Rey, you’re alive! Where the kriff have you been?!“ Rose cried out to her, running down the school hallway and scooping Rey into a hug. 

“Yeah, we wanted to hang out this weekend! We tried calling but it went straight to voicemail.” Finn added, rushing over and wrapping his arms around her.

“Can’t… Breathe!” Rey choked, and her friends let go of her, laughing. A chuckle escaped her lips, but it was quickly diminished.

“For real, Rey. We were worried about you.” Rose sighed, as she opened her locker and collected her books for the day.

“I’m fine, I just... lost my phone over the weekend.” Rey shrugged, trying to seem as nonchalant as possible.

She could feel Rose and Finn eyeing her suspiciously. Finn unlocked his locker, piling his books into his bag. 

“Oh peanut, you’re so clumsy,” Finn joked, trying to diffuse the rising tension.

“Yep, that’s me.” Rey smiled but it didn’t meet her eyes. She reached up to open her locker, which was conveniently placed Between Finn’s and Rose’s.

“What’s this?!” Rose gasped, grabbing Rey’s wrist and holding up her bandaged hand. Rey pulled it away gently, continuing to open her locker.

“I cut myself on something-- a can of beans. Baked beans. I was making dinner.” Rey stammered her way through the sentence, playing it off like she was embarrassed instead of lying.

Her mind flashed back to the jagged piece of metal she’d cut herself on in the scrapyard and she shuddered.

“Like I said, clumsy peanut.” Finn chuckled, and Rose joined in. Rey found herself laughing too, but it was hollow, a laugh you use as you try to bury your true emotions deep.

The school bell rang, and Rey looked at her two friends expectantly. “Let’s get to class!” she urged, relieved for the change of subject, and the trio headed for first period.

═════ ∘◦ ☽ ◦∘ ═════

“A very good morning to you, class! Please take your seats promptly.” Professor Threepio chirped as the students piled into his classroom. When Rey entered, he slid his coffee cup and papers to the other side of his desk, eyeing her warily.

“I do not have the energy for Threepio’s enthusiasm for languages this morning...” Finn grumbled, as him, Rey, and Rose took their seats near the back of the room. Once everyone had settled, the class began.

“Today we will be studying a fascinating language: Shyriiwook! What is Shyriiwook, you might ask? Well--” Professor Threepio was about to begin his regular ramble until the classroom door swung open, an unfamiliar figure hovering in the doorway.

“Is this senior language class?” a voice asked. It was deep, baritone.

“It positively is! Please take a seat, there’s a spot right over there.” Professor Threepio answered, pointing to an empty seat adjacent to Rey’s desk.

Rey couldn’t have prepared herself for the person who walked through the door then, even if she’d tried.

The young man was impossibly tall, with broad shoulders and muscular arms that strained against his black shirt. His dark eyes scanned the room as if he were scrutinizing the space and everyone in it. Just as Rey was following the waves of his dark, silky hair, his eyes fell upon her with a certain intensity.

Oh no, he’d caught her staring.

Rey looked down at her desk, feeling her cheeks tinge with heat. So much for first impressions.

But before she looked away, she could have sworn she saw his protruding ears turn pink at the tops.

He took his seat at the desk next to Rey’s, pulling out a leather-bound notebook and a fountain pen from his bag.

“I almost forgot to ask! What is your name, young sir?” Professor Threepio asked the newcomer.

“Ben,” said the young man, straightening his posture as all eyes turned on him “Ben Solo.”


	2. awkward introductions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> art class begins! im sorry for the delay in getting this chapter up. hopefully you’re still interested in awkward angsty highschool reylo!

Rey struggled to stay awake during Threepio’s language class, as he recounted the past fifteen centuries of Wookie linguistic culture and dialects.

The only thing that kept jerking her awake was the feeling of the new kid Ben Solo sitting to her right. The unfamiliarity of him; his mysterious energy filled her senses.

Glancing in his direction, Rey traced the outline of his face and found something strangely familiar about it. She propped her head on her hands and closed her eyes for just a moment, basking in the feeling...

“Rey! You’re snoring.” Rose hissed, jabbing Rey in the ribs. 

Rey woke with a start, yelping as Rose’s pen poked her waist. Her sudden loud noise drew the attention of Professor Threepio, who paused his rendition of the 17th century Wookie national anthem to target Rey.

“Did you have something to say, Miss Rey?” Threepio asked her with a tilted head, looking down his nose at Rey. The class turned to look at her expectantly, and Rey bit the inside of her cheek in an attempt to stop the room from spinning.

She shook her head slowly.

“Are you sure? You sounded awfully excited about the song. It would be an honor if you could continue it.”

Rey shuffled in her seat, unable to stop the burning shame that covered her face. She couldn’t tell if Threepio was completely clueless in social situations, or if this was some kind of sick payback for her harmless prank a while back.

“Take it away!” Threepio added, and the class broke out into a ripple of laughter. Well, almost all the class. From the corner of her vision, she could see Ben staring right at her.

She peeked in his direction and saw that he wasn’t laughing, or even smiling. His dark eyes bore into her as if he were searching for something through her own eyes.

The school bell rang before Rey could reply. Everyone's attention was diverted, chairs scraping the floor as they left the room in a flurry.

“Saved by the bell,” Rey muttered under her breath, staying seated as she took a few deep breaths.

“See you at lunch?” Finn asked her, and Rey shrugged halfheartedly. Her stomach was in knots; food was the last thing she wanted to think about.

“Just reach out if you want to hang.” Rose suggested, and she and Finn left the classroom, leaving Rey on her own.

Rey slung her frayed bag over her shoulder, taking a glance at the empty seat where Ben once sat as she left. Her mind thought to his steely gaze and stern face and pink-tipped ears and--

She left the classroom in a hurry, hoping her racing thoughts wouldn’t follow her.

═════ ∘◦ ☽ ◦∘ ═════

Lunchtime came around, and Rey still felt nauseous and drained. She sent a brief text to Rose and Finn letting them know she wouldn’t be joining them and headed to her favorite spot to be alone.

Heading to the back of the school building, Rey dove into a nook between the brick where a cleverly concealed ladder lay attached to the wall, going all the way up to the roof. She ascended, relishing at the feeling of the wind blowing strands of hair across her face.

Rey let out a yelp as she reached the top of the latter, not expecting to find someone else sitting on her secret roof spot.

”Do you always announce yourself like that?” Ben Solo asked, a bowl of something fresh-looking in one hand and a fork in the other. Rey tried to reply but the words wouldn’t come out, unable to focus as the tall, muscular young man looked down at her with those earnest eyes.

She resorted to rolling her eyes at him as she lifted herself onto the roof, sitting down to hide from view of grumpy janitors.

”In my defense, I didn’t expect anyone to be sitting in my lunch spot.” Rey finally replied.

”It’s not yours. It’s school property.” Ben snipped, and a heavy silence fell over the two.

“I’m Ben Solo.” he said, sticking his fork in the salad and extending his hand for Rey to shake. The first thought in her mind was how big they were, but she realized it made sense considering how large the rest of him was.

She eyed his palm suspiciously, wondering if it were some kind of practical joke. Why would anyone want to shake hands with her?

When Ben withdrew his hand, suspending it in the air awkwardly and clasping it into a loose fist, she realized he was being serious.

“I know, I was in Threepio’s class this morning,” Rey confirmed, wondering if he’d forgotten and found herself a little hurt at the thought.

Ben nodded “I just thought I’d give a formal introduction.” he shrugged, and went back to eating his lunch.

Rey averted her eyes, fiddling with her bag strap absentmindedly as she looked out onto the field where the other students socialized.

“And your name?” Ben asked, his eyes not leaving his food. She found it easier to speak to him when his piercing eyes weren’t upon her.

“Rey.” She said tersely, feeling the friction of this abrupt socialization.

“Rey what?” Ben asked expectantly, and his eyes were on her again. Rey exhaled, matching his intense gaze with narrowed eyes. Her last name… This was not a topic she wanted to delve into.

“Nobody.” She snapped, pursing her lips.

“Rey Nobody…” Ben parroted, and Rey felt her patience running dangerously thin.

“Well? Are you done with the questions? I came here for some peace and quiet, you know.” Rey looked down to the ground, cursing herself for her rudeness while silently fighting with the tears that had been threatening to fall all day.

When she looked up, she realized Ben was staring at her with the same intensity as he had in the classroom. It made the heat rise to her cheeks with a frustrating burn she tried to fight. 

And as Ben’s lips twinged with the semblance of a smile it only made Rey more annoyed.

“Fine!” She huffed, shoving her bag behind her and laying her head on it like a pillow. She pulled out her earbuds, placing them in her ears and closing her eyes. She set an alarm on her phone for 30 minutes.

“You can stay here, but don’t you dare disturb me.” she pressed play on her music before she could hear Ben’s reply.

When Rey awoke to the sound of her ringing alarm, she found herself alone on the rooftop, a shiny red apple laying on a napkin by the spot that he had sat.

═════ ∘◦ ☽ ◦∘ ═════

The end of the school day soon came, and Rey found herself heading home until she remembered her ultimatum given by Principal Skywalker. Turning on her heel, she nearly walked straight into someone.

“Forget something, rat?” Armitage Hux mocked as Rey backed away from him.

“Go hug a cat, ginger pubes!” she hissed, sprinting away before he could react to her words.

Once back inside, Rey navigated to the art studio, a spacious room tucked away in a quieter side of the building.

Grasping the cold metal door handle, Rey slowly crept the door open and took in her surroundings.

The room was spacious, with large windows that the lazy afternoon sun shone through. Studio lights hung from the high ceiling lighting the room with a bright glow.

”Welcome! My, we’re almost at full capacity.” A cheerful female voice from the front of the room said, and Rey squinted in the general direction. She saw a flash of crimson hair, brushed back with a paisley bandana.

Her eyes were still adjusting to the lights, so Rey trailed her eyes across the room.

Rey had expected the room to be empty but instead, it was almost full of students. Half of them looked eager to be there, laying their art supplies on their desk carefully, some even beginning to draw.

The other students, whom Rey felt she was part of, looked miserable as can be. Guess she wasn’t the only one to be forced to attend these classes as punishment.

”Please take a seat. There’s a couple of spaces left at the front, here.” The woman gestured towards two spots at the front. Rey kicked herself mentally for arriving so late, taking the seat on the right.

”Right, now we’re all seated, I suppose it’s time for some introductions.” The woman took a seat on top of the teacher’s desk, and Rey realized how short she was. Her crossed legs dangled as she swung them back and forth.

”I’m Dr. Leia Organa. That’s right- Doctor. I got my doctoral in Arts long before you kids were born. But you can call me Leia.”

Rey smiled at the woman’s matter-of-fact attitude. She liked her already.

”I’ve spent the last two decades traveling the states, teaching and making art wherever I go. Recently, my son and I decided to settle here across the pond. So excuse the American-ness, I wasn’t raised on tea and crumpets like you guys.”

A ripple of laughter went through the class, and despite her heavy heart today Rey found herself giggling. She really liked this woman!

”Now I’ve introduced myself, it’s time for you all to introduce yourselves to me.” Leia stated, pointing at a student sitting in the far right corner.

”Say your name and tell me a bit about yourself. I’m useless with names, I need to have something interesting to hold onto.”

Before the student could begin, the classroom door opened and someone rushed in.

”Ah, you made it! Take a seat next to the young lady here.” Leia smiled at the new arrival, pointing to the desk next to Rey.

Rey glanced to her left as the tall, burly man with a mop of raven hair sat down at the desk, dumping his bag on the floor and pulling out a familiar leather-bound notebook.

She felt the breath hitch in her throat, as he swept his hair from his eyes and sat up tall in his chair.

It was Ben Solo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize this chapter ends almost exactly as the last... 
> 
> *Ben bursts into classroom late*  
> Ben: It’s me, Ben Solo
> 
> What can I say— It’s his first day at a new school, he gets lost easily!


	3. cold shoulder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> angst galore! rey's catching feels. ben is an awkward shit. we learn a little more about rey's home life. this chapter's a little short, sorry!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe this fic has 370 hits already!! I know it's not a lot in comparison to other fics, but I honestly wasn't sure if anyone would be reading this. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my writing, I sincerely hope I'm doing this prompt justice <3
> 
> And if you have any feedback, suggestions, musings or thoughts, I would love to hear them!

The class introductions begin, and before Rey knows it, it’s her turn to introduce herself. Her stomach immediately begins tying knots as Leia’s wise eyes fall upon her.

”I’m Rey.” She says slowly and is met with dead silence. Swallowing her nerves, she tries to think of something interesting about herself. Leia nods encouragingly.

But… she can’t. Rey doesn’t think there’s a single thing about her that’s interesting.

”And there’s nothing interesting about me.” She shrugs. Laughter erupts from the room, as Rey feels an anxious sweat prickle on the back of her neck. Leia smiles at her, though her brows are furrowed. In worry or thought, Rey can’t decide.

”Well, Rey. I’ll try to remember there’s nothing interesting about you. But I’m sure we’ll find there is.” Leia replies, and is focusing on the next student before Rey has time to react.

Leia’s face breaks out into a smile as she looks at Ben, nodding as an indication for him to talk. With the way she’s looking at him, and judging by her reaction when he came through the door, she has a feeling she knows Ben from somewhere before.

”I’m Ben Solo”.

Murmurs pass through the room, interested to know more about this mysterious new student.

”And something interesting about me…” he continues, and Rey’s gaze is lured to his full lip that he bites while deep in thought.

”I’ve been a Bojutsu fighter for 10 years. It’s a form of martial arts from Japan using a staff weapon.”

In her mind’s eye, Rey imagines the tall, broad Ben Solo fighting his opponent. His strong arms rippling as he slashes and hacks, sweat glistening on his body and outlining each curve and dip of muscle.

Feeling flustered, Rey pulls herself back to reality as the next person introduces themselves. 

She looks over in the direction of the student introducing herself, but through her peripheral vision, she eyes Ben’s profile, taking note of his prominent Greek nose and the dainty beauty marks.

Rey sighs.

═════ ∘◦ ☽ ◦∘ ═════

After everyone has introduced themself, Leia gives a run-through on what to expect of the course.

She begins by telling the class ”Everything you know about art is wrong.” And slamming her fists on the desk. But then Leia chuckles, admitting that she’s always wanted to do that.

”However, art really is so much more than paper and brush, or pen, or pencil. It’s a way to discover who you really are, and to connect deeply with others.”

Rey nearly groans out loud at Leia’s statement. The last thing she wants to do is hold hands with her classmates, chanting kumbaya in a circle as they open their chakras.

But Rey continues to listen to what Leia has to say, for politeness to this woman that she already admires for her passion and sass. 

She feels a certain energy to her left that calls to her, like a magnet, but tries her hardest to ignore the pull of Ben Solo. She can’t be caught staring at him again. 

By the time Leia has run through the syllabus and talked in length about the emotional connection to art, the first class is over. The students pack their things up with lightning speed, clearly having had enough of Leia’s prattle.

Ben packs his things slowly, however, and Rey matches his pace in hopes of catching him before he heads off.

”Um, Ben?” Rey calls to him as he stands up, and Ben turns to face her with wide eyes, as if he hadn’t noticed she was there in the first place.

”I just want to thank you for leaving me the apple at lunch. And to apologize for being rude to you.” Rey confesses, twirling her bag strap around her fingers therapeutically. 

Ben’s vision slips down to her twiddling fingers for a moment before he looks back up. He gives her a thin smile in return.

”I didn’t realize how hangry I was until I ate it… so, thank you.” Rey flits her gaze to the ground, as Ben remains silent. He doesn’t look her in the eye, gazing past her shoulder to the teacher’s desk behind.

Rey doesn’t look back up until she hears the classroom door close.

═════ ∘◦ ☽ ◦∘ ═════

”FUUUUUUUCK!” Rey screams the moment she’s out of earshot of people - walking across the field and over the hill to her destination. She wants to let out all her emotions, but she can’t do it just yet. 

She hikes over the grassy knoll until she reaches the peak, looking down at the rows and rows of trailers. By the dirt-road entrance is a sign, weathered and graffiti-covered.

Jakku Trailer Park. Or to Rey, home.

Rey’s trailer is one of the oldest, rusted brown and hidden at the edge of the field. She kicks a sheet of metal that sits by her front yard with a scowl, but then hurries over to pick it up and inspect it.

She enters her trailer with the metal in hand, chucking it on a pile of scrap. It makes a loud clang as it lands on the mound of sundry scrap, and Rey simultaneously throws herself onto her futon, burying her face in the familiar worn pillows.

She screams again for good measure, the noise muffled by the cushions.

The events of the day come flooding back, and with them flow the tears that Rey has spent all day fighting.

Waking up this morning, body aching with a fiery rage of overexertion, after a weekend of picking scrap to sell and pay the bills.

Being bombarded by her friends, and feeling a lump rise in her throat as she lies to them about why they couldn’t reach her all weekend.

Falling asleep in Threepio’s class, and being publicly embarrassed by it. The laughter rings through her ears at the thought.

Lunchtime. Desperately needing to be alone, but instead having to share her sacred space with a complete stranger.

Meeting someone so intimidating to her, but who doesn’t laugh at her but instead studies her face earnestly and leaves her be while she naps and gives her an apple because she has no lunch.

And then fucking things up by being rude to that person, and apologizing to them hours later for them to look at you like you’re crazy and leaving without saying a word.

”Ben Solo” Rey whispers to herself, wanting to feel the shape of his name on her lips. 

As she watches the sunset, dipping below the hill that shadows the trailer park, Rey slips into a deep slumber that she doesn’t wake from until morning light.


	4. reintroductions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got super inspired one night and made some collage/banner type things for this fic, which I'll be posting for the next few chapters :D I hope you'll like them, the first one is below!
> 
> It took a damn while to write this chapter. Our two angsty teens were putting up a fight in my head. I just couldn’t figure out how to convey their emotions, but after several drafts, they finally told me what they wanted to say. Oh, the ANGST!

[ ](https://imgur.com/CUs4cUX)

The next morning passes by uneventfully, and Rey feels herself feeling more alert than yesterday after her prolonged sleep.

But as lunchtime approaches she realizes she hadn’t packed herself a lunch, for yesterday evening was lost to tears and slumber. 

With a heavy heart, she tells Finn and Rose that she’ll be spending another break time alone and she heads to her secret spot.

To Rey’s surprise, Ben Solo is sitting on the roof again. He has his back facing the ladder, looking out onto the rolling hills and farm fields beyond the grounds.

Dread washes over Rey, at the thought of their last encounter. _I should just leave,_ she thinks.

Yet something tells her not to. So she stands there, watching his wavy black hair sways in the breeze. He’s laid out, leaning back and propping himself up by the elbows.

Clad in a Joy Division shirt, he’s rolled the sleeves, biceps straining under the fabric. The shirt is paired with black jeans with a silver chain hanging from the belt loops, and a pair of beat-up biker boots.

He exudes prickliness. _You can look, but don’t think of getting close_. It made Rey want to get closer to him even more.

She looks down at her holey sweater, faded jeans, and battered converse, and can’t help but compare. She feels like a peasant standing next to a knight.

Her throat is dry and lips glued shut, so Rey silently hoists herself up onto a large air conditioning unit adjacent to Ben.

He cocks his head in her direction, the sun hitting his face and hair, highlighting his features in a golden glow. 

“Hey” he greets, sitting up. Rey’s heart skips a beat at the sound of his deep voice, the sight of him becoming alert over her.

An oddly peaceful silence falls over the two, as all Rey can muster is a nod in reply. His eyes are not quite meeting hers, and as he squints in the afternoon sun, it’s difficult for Rey to discern his emotions.

”I owe you an apology” Ben murmurs, still refraining from looking her in the eye.

The breath gets caught in Rey’s throat, and she can’t help but look at him with wide eyes. He owes _her_ an apology…?

”For how I acted in art class.” the curtness in his voice is apparent, his lips tight and words few.

Rey sighs too, quietly and to herself. She feels the frustration emanating off him, and for a moment she’s worried if this is all a ploy to get her to apologize to him again. If he’s one of _those_ people, like her parents or Plutt.

”It’s no excuse, but I was feeling overwhelmed. First day and all.” Ben shakes his head at his words as if dismissing them. “I’m sorry.”

Ben tears his eyes from her general direction and looks back out to the field, but Rey’s gaze lingers. She watches as his chest rises and falls with laborious breaths, and for a moment, as the warm sun bathes him in light, he looks as if he’s on fire with rage.

_He’s angry for having to apologize,_ Rey thinks _. He’s completely justified to feel that way, I was rude to him at first._

But then she notices his knuckles are white as he grips the sides of his legs, and she realizes: he's anxious.

“Hey, it’s alright.” Rey murmurs, her voice gentle as she hops off the AC unit “Nobody’s to blame. We just started on the wrong foot.”

Ben’s eyes light up in a manner that’s not just the sunlight. He stands up, closing most of the distance between the two of them, while still leaving room to breathe.

His mouth twitches with words wishing to be spoken, and Rey watches them with bated breath.

“Then let’s start over. It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m Ben Solo.” he extends a hand for Rey to shake.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Rey… Just Rey.” her voice trails off, as she slips her small hand into his.

Rey gasps, as what feels like a jolt of electricity sparks as their hands touch. Ben’s hand is warm, soft yet calloused, and comfortingly large. _And it feels good touching mine_ , she thinks to herself.

A deep pink creeps onto the tips of Ben’s ears, and she wonders if he felt it too. Noticing Rey’s focus on his blushing ears, Ben’s hand falls to his side. Rey clears her throat and looks out to the school field, breaking eye contact.

“Do you have lunch with you today?” Ben asks as he sits back down, rooting through his backpack with his head bowed. She can’t help but notice the way her name rolls off his tongue as if he’s been saying it for years.

“Uh, no… I forgot to make something—“ Rey begins, but stops speaking as Ben pulls out something from his bag, offering it to her.

“My— uh, I packed a spare. In case I got hungry. But I don’t need it.”

Timidly, Rey takes the sandwich from his hands and studies it. The smell of fresh salad and something smoked seeps through the saran wrap and she begins to salivate, stomach contracting in painful jolts.

Tears prick in her eyes as the words she’s ingrained in her head over the years repeat: _Don’t show weakness. Accepting help means you need it. Needing help is weak._

“Ben, I can’t--”

She looks back up, ready to hand the sandwich back to him, but he’s not crouched where he once was. Rey spins on her heel, her vision catching him as he stands on the ladder, ready to descend.

“I’ll leave you in peace, this time.” with those words, Rey finds herself standing on the roof alone. 

═════ ∘◦ ☽ ◦∘ ═════

**Ben** feels as if he’s hyperventilating once he gets to the bottom of the ladder, and he knows for certain it wasn’t the climb down that did it to him.

Placing his hands on his knees, he takes a few slow, deep breaths, and ruminates...

“Made any friends today?” Leia had asked him last night as they ate dinner. Ben shrugged in response.

“What about that girl who came up to you after my class?” she questioned innocently, but Ben’s guard went up immediately.

“Nothing. She’s nobody.” Ben was all too quick to say. A smirk appeared on Leia’s face.

Shit, he thought to himself. She’s already noticed.

“You gave her an apple for lunch…?” She pushed, and Ben glowered in reply.

“Okay.” Leia held her hands up in defeat.

This morning Ben was packing his lunch into his bag and noticed his mom had made him two sandwiches. 

Cursing, he shoved them into his bag and headed off, but a part of him was glad to have a way to make up for yesterday’s coldness towards Rey.

He didn’t want to act so bitterly to her. But with his Mom standing right behind Rey, looking at him like _that_ set off alarm bells in his head.

He’d much rather avoid his Mom getting overly involved with his social life. Especially in this regard.

Especially with Rey.

With his breath back to normal, Ben stands up straight, brushing his hair out his face and looking back up the ladder, thinking.

When he apologized to Rey today, he had been so scared to look her in the eye for fear of what it might reveal.

That she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever laid eyes on

═════ ∘◦ ☽ ◦∘ ═════

“Well, I’m glad most of you could make it today.” Leia greets the art class once everyone has taken their seats.

They had lost some numbers since the introductory seminar. Rey didn’t forget about her commitment today, so she headed straight for the studio after school and found the room half full upon entry.

She tried to take a seat near the back, until Leia greeted her warmly, patting the desk she’d sat at yesterday eagerly. The desk next to Ben Solo.

“I see we’ve scared some people off,” Leia smiles, garnering some chuckles “but you who’ve chosen to stay can bear me just enough, so let’s get right into it!”

Rey finds herself breaking out into a grin. She has the faintest feeling this art class will come to be the highlight of her day.

Shifting her eyes to Ben, she sees that he’s already arched over his sketchbook, penciling away already.

He shifts his position for a moment, and Rey gets a glimpse of what he’s drawing. Her mouth pops open at the sight of it.

Intricate webs of graphite on paper lay before her, forming the portrait of a young boy, grinning joyfully with a gap-toothed smile. 

The eyes aren’t yet drawn, but other than that, the drawing looks so lifelike it’s as if it could jump out of the sketchbook.

Oh great, he’s really good at drawing. And Rey is abysmal. She’s going to make an absolute fool of herself.

That’s another thing to add to the list of his perfections, she guesses. His deep voice, smooth like honey. The contemplative demeanor emanating from him during class. His dizzying tallness and muscular build and Bojutsu training and all the little beauty spots scattered across his face.

Rey realizes then that it’s taken two days of knowing Ben Solo before she’s started falling for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you a gazillion times for the reads and comments and kudo and bookmarks and stuff! your support warms my heart and motivates me so much to keep going. i really appreciate it <3


	5. she's a natural

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the painting begins! i had so much fun writing this chapter, i wrote it all in one sitting and it needed minimal editing. what a dreaaaam. hope you guys enjoy. thank you for all the love and support <3

[ ](https://imgur.com/pk7vpC1)

“For the first project of this class, we’re going to start with landscape painting.”

Throat tightening, Rey cringes at Leia’s words. They’re  _ already  _ jumping into painting landscapes? Rey is suddenly reminded that she hasn’t picked up a paintbrush since kindergarten. The murmurs that spread through the class assure her that she is not alone.

Leia notices Rey’s look of panic and gives her a wink, continuing to talk.

“Before you all panic, give this method a chance. You’ll find when you take things step by step, it won’t be as daunting,” Leia reassures everyone, and indicates to the board where the necessary supplies are listed.

Rising from their seats, the students head to the back of the classroom in a flurry to gather everything. 

Rey looks back to see the influx of students gathered around the supply closet, and decides to stay seated until the crowd has cleared.

She sneaks a glance at Ben, who is still engrossed with his sketchbook. Out of earshot of other students, Rey musters the courage to make conversation.

“You’re really good at drawing.” she says, a little more eagerly than intended. Ben’s head shoots up and he looks at her with his piercing dark eyes.

A smile dances on his lips, which Rey can’t help but linger her gaze on. She smiles coyly back at him but he turns away before he can see, muttering a ‘thank you’ while his ears turn red like they had on the rooftop.

Looking down at the drawing again, Rey notices Ben has scribbled over the child’s eyes in a jagged motion. She frowns, but before she can ask why Leia approaches them.

“Waiting for the crowd to disperse, huh?” she notes, walking to the front of her desk and leaning against it.

Rey nods, and in the corner of her eye she notices that Ben is looking at Leia with a deer in the headlights look. He gives a curt nod and gets back to drawing. 

Leia smirks subtly, almost to herself, before addressing Rey. “Have you ever painted before?” she questions.

“Not since Kindergarten.” Rey shrugs, eliciting a chuckle from Leia.

“Well, if you have any trouble I’m sure Ben here can help you.”

Rey could have sworn she heard Ben inhale sharply at Leia’s words, but Rey wonders if it was just the sound of her heartbeat quickening at the thought of him helping her.

The students had started returning to their desks, judging by the scrapes of chairs that Rey hears behind her.

“Coast’s clear now. Go grab your supplies before we start.” Leia nods, and Ben shoots out of his chair, beelining to the supplies closet. Rey follows him.

“You don’t have to help me, you know…” Rey mumbles, wishing to fill the air with something other than brooding silence _. But I wouldn’t be weak for accepting help anyway, right?  _ She wondered.

Ben hands her a paint palette and easel while she gathers the oil paints they need, his stony face giving away no clues to how he feels about Leia’s suggestion.

“I mean, if you don’t want to,” Rey adds, hoping to lessen the tension and the tight feeling in her gut. It only makes her feel worse. She should have just kept her mouth shut in the first place, why would he even care about helping her or not, it’s no big deal--

“Don’t worry.” the smile that flashes on Ben Solo’s face nestles deep into Rey’s heart. Suddenly, her head feels light and dreamy.

Walking back to their desks, a calmness washes over Rey.  _ Don’t worry _ , Rey thinks to herself.  _ When was the last time anyone said that to me? _

═════ ∘◦ ☽ ◦∘ ═════

“First, take some Prussian Blue on your brush- just a touch, mind, it’s strong stuff,” Leia tells the class, and Rey watches her dab at the deep blue color on her palette. 

“And we’ll start off by filling in the sky with criss-cross strokes.” watching Leia intently, Rey mimics her hand motions and places the first swipe of paint onto her canvas.

And so it begins.

Rey follows Leia’s step-by-step instructions with care, and finds herself becoming entranced by the process of filling in the canvas.

Time passes by peacefully.

Some time later Leia pauses to take a sip of water, and Rey takes a moment to look at her progress. The canvas is half-filled with a lake, brilliant blue sky, and gentle puffs of clouds.

_ I really made that? _ Rey is in disbelief at how precise it looks.

The process continues. Leia guides the class on how to add a jagged mountain peak, smoothing it out to form a horizon and adding lighter shades to create depth.

Rey feels Ben’s focus draw towards her periodically, sneaking a look at her canvas while she tries not to turn pink in the face. He never offers to help, though Rey doesn’t ask either. She tries her hardest to not look at his painting, but from her peripheral she can already tell it’s a masterpiece.

Next Leia directs the class to add trees, by using a fan brush dipped in murky green and tapping downwards in delicate strokes. Rey hums to herself happily, impressed at the effect it leaves on canvas, reminding her of the distant sprawling forest visible from the rooftop of the school building.

Her flow is broken, however, when she hears uttered cursing coming from her left. Ben places his paintbrush on his desk and sighs heavily, his nostrils flared.

Letting herself sneak a glance at his canvas, Rey is unsurprised to see an exquisitely painted landscape; sky, lake, and mountain horizon existing harmoniously. What does surprise her, however, is the dark green blobs that sit in the middle of the painting, where some wispy trees should have been instead.

“I’ve never been good at the delicate parts...” He murmurs, and Rey’s not sure if he was saying it to himself or she was supposed to hear. She continues to follow Leia’s instructions, heart feeling heavier at the sound of defeat in Ben’s voice.

Time flies as Rey enters a focused mode again, and soon the class are adding the final details of foreground trees to their paintings.

“Put down your brushes, now, you don’t want to overdo it.” Leia advises, and Rey pops her brush and palette down on her desk.

“And we are done! Lean back and admire your hard work.” Rey scoots back in her chair at Leia’s words, leaning back and taking in the entire canvas she’d just spent the past hour pouring her heart into.

“Wow.” Rey whispers, biting her lip as she suppresses a huge grin. Before her she sees a forested valley and a twinkling blue lake, encompassed by towering rocky mountains and a deep blue sky with rolling clouds.

“I did it.” she hums, as if she can’t believe what she sees before her “I really…” Rey glances over to Ben’s canvas to see what he has done, but sees that he made no progress since his tree mishap. 

He’s instead pouring over his sketchbook again, holding it close to his body as he works in quick strokes across the paper that Rey can’t see at this angle.

“Oh.” the words escape her lips before she can help herself.

Ben becomes alert at Rey’s reaction. He snaps the sketchbook shut, nearly falling off his chair as Rey addresses him.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude-- it’s just it’s so good, one little mistake doesn’t matter--”

“It’s alright,” Ben says softly, and Rey feels instantly calm again.

“I was never much good at drawing landscapes.” he admits, and his eyes never leave his drawing. With the way his shoulders are hunched, Rey has the untameable urge to give him a squeezing hug.

Once the class has gotten over the hype of completing their first painting, Leia gives a brief talk and then everyone packs up, leaving the classroom in groups.

Rey stays seated still, admiring her painting, following her brush strokes with her eyes and marveling at how each little one created the bigger picture.

“How’d you do?” Leia asks, strolling over to see Rey’s finished product. When she sees what Rey has done, she gasps aloud, clapping her hands together in joy.

“My goodness, Rey! This is excellent.” Leia studies Rey’s handiwork closely.

  
“You think so?” Rey asks, shocked at such a positive reaction.

“Yes, you’re a natural! Wouldn’t you agree, Ben?” Ben draws his attention away from his sketching once he is mentioned, and once his eyes land on Rey’s canvas his jaw drops and eyes widen.

“There’s your answer,” Leia smirks, and Rey finds herself giggling, face in her hands.

Leia takes in Rey’s art one more time with a wistful sigh. She turns to Ben.

“What about you? How did you do?” she asks, peering over at his unfinished canvas.

“A shame. You were onto something, Ben,” Leia says, and Ben is stone-faced.

“Remember, there are no mistakes, only happy little accidents.” She quips, and Rey smiles widely at Leia’s words.  _ What a lovely way to see things, _ Rey notes.

Ben doesn’t seem to agree, however, as he stares at his incomplete work, jaw tight and his right eye twitching.

“And just how is my favorite sister doing…” a familiar voice calls from the hallway, as their footsteps approach the art studio.

  
“Ah, Rey! You’re here.” Principal Luke Skywalker stands in the doorway, a somewhat startled look on his face. He glances up at Leia expectantly, as if waiting for her to say something.

“Sister? Oh, you old joker!” Leia slaps her thighs and lets out a wheeze, before turning to Rey and Ben.

  
“We go way back, Luke and I.” she muses, and the two teachers engage in conversation.

Rey senses an immense anxious energy emitting from Ben, and she tilts her head at him, mouthing “you okay?” He replies with a nod, eyes flitting to hers and down again.

“Anyway, I didn’t come here to chat the evening away,” Luke announces, and Rey looks up at him.

  
“You’re just the person I wanted to see. I’m curious to know how you’re getting on with our little… ultimatum.” Rey nods understandingly and leans out of the way, presenting her artwork to Luke.

Luke’s reaction is similar to that of Ben’s, though much more subtle and quicker to disappear- he replaces his initial shock with a raised eyebrow

“Good job. I’m glad to see you’re making the most of Leia’s excellent art knowledge.” 

“Ben’s the one you should be praising, he helped Rey today.” Leia nods in the brooding teen’s direction, who folds his arms across his body, shaking his head.

“Rey didn’t need my help. She did it all by herself.” Ben states, and the smile that cracks on Leia’s face makes Rey feel giddy with appreciation.

“Why didn’t you say so?” Leia gasps, looking back to Rey “Now I’m even more impressed!” she exclaims, and Rey feels herself turning red, unable to handle such gratitude.

Leia stops her praise to put her hands on her hips and address Rey with one more comment.

“I told you we’d find something interesting about you.”

═════ ∘◦ ☽ ◦∘ ═════

Standing on her tip-toes, Rey struggles to reach the highest shelf of the supply closet to store her easel and palette. Leia and Luke had left the room to attend to other matters, leaving Rey and Ben to tidy up alone.

“Let me get that for you.” a pair of soft, large hands come from behind Rey, taking the painting equipment from her straining fingers and placing it on the shelf with ease.

“Thank you” Rey bites her lip, turning around. The breath hitches in her throat when she comes face-to-face with Ben Solo’s broad chest. 

A whole head and shoulders taller, Ben towers over Rey. Trapping her between the shelves and his body.  _ Two completely solid things _ , she thinks. Then she gulps, fingernails digging into the palms of her hands.

Ben inhales, muttering an “Oh, sorry” as the two of them stand together in the cramped closet. Rey dares herself to look up at him, matching his piercing gaze with a similar intensity.

“It’s ok” Rey whispers, hoping that the look on his face will tell him it’s  _ more  _ than okay. Rey watches as Ben’s eyes widen and lips part in reaction, and she suppresses the urge to smirk by biting her bottom lip.

“Uh, see you tomorrow.” Ben chokes, breaking their gaze suddenly as he exits.

Rey leans her head back into the wall of the shelf, and she sighs. It’s going to be really hard to compose herself around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter wouldn't have been possible without the wonderful bob ross and his peaceful painting tutorials. i used this one as inspiration for the painting they did in class <3 youtube.com/watch?v=4vXB2R8ybDE  
> so i guess you could say leia is female bob ross in this fic, hahah


	6. sticks and stones

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! i hope you are all holding up ok during these difficult times <3 i'm staying at home for the most part, thankfully my job enables me to work from home so i've been spending my days at the laptop working, and the evenings writing this fic, hehe.
> 
> i must admit i started to drift from my original idea a little bit, you see i'm more of a 'planner' storyteller but i thought it would be fun (and save time) to just dive in and try to be more of a 'gardener'- planting seeds of story and seeing what they'll do. this is great for my creative freedom, but i find it hard to keep track and follow through all my little ideas without some kind of a plan. so i spent the past few days replanning my vision for this story. you may notice a shift in the tone for this chapter, its certainly more plot-driven than before. i hope you enjoy this change, but even if you didn't i'd love to hear whatever feedback you may have~
> 
> one good thing about making a plan is that this is the longest chapter yet! a little over 3000 words. my brain finds it easier to be creative when i have building blocks to work with. ok, enough rambling- i hope you enjoy this story-filled chapter!

[ ](https://imgur.com/tQ0RYPR)

* * *

Three days had passed since Rey had first taken a brush to canvas, and since then she had been holding onto hope each day for that hour and a half of pure painting bliss. It made up for all the droning professors, dull lectures, and rowdy classmates of high school.

But it wasn't just the creative freedom that made art class so wonderful to Rey. For it was the boy that sat next to her, that gave her advice on colors with his rich, smooth voice, who in return she softly motivated to continue painting whenever he placed the brush down in defeat. 

With every slight interaction, Ben Solo was spreading his way through Rey's heart.

She hadn't seen much of him outside of their shared after-school activity, and she figured that he must be in more advanced classes than bottom-set Rey. Not that she cared about that; Rey's motivation for her education extended about as far as she could throw Luke Skywalker.

Which wasn't very far at all, according to her unsuccessful prank of throwing Principal Skywalker in the pool at the end of school last summer.

It was Friday, and Rey headed to the library after art class, to get some peace before heading back to the rowdy trailer park she resided in. She absentmindedly pulled a dog-eared book off the shelves, making her way to a high-backed armchair that she curled up in. 

The library, like the rest of the school, was a grand old space, with high ceilings and square-paned windows that stretched the entire height of the room. Everything was made of wood with a rich finish, giving the room and corridors a feeling as if one were in a cozy wooden cocoon.

With no intention to actually read the novel she'd picked up, Rey let her mind wander, basking in the tranquility of an empty library that glowed with the orangey hues of the setting sun.

She was so engrossed in her thoughts, that she didn't hear the rattle of the door as it creaked open, or the footsteps on the wooden floor as they reverberated off the bookshelves and into the echoey ceiling space.

They were the footsteps of a person that meandered the silent corridors with ease, before stumbling across Rey in her armchair and making their presence known.

"Shouldn't you be enjoying the weekend?" a mock-stern voice asked from above her. An unmistakable voice that gave Rey butterflies.

Rey looked up at Ben, who learned on the high back of her armchair, gripping a stack of books in his other arm, the topmost one being his sketchbook.

She smiled coyly "What if this is how I enjoy it?"

A smile spread across Ben's face at her response, and he sunk into the armchair adjacent to Rey's, their vision of each other blocked out by the high sides of the chairs. She hears a thud as he places the pile of books in his arm onto the small table between them.

Things were different when no one else was around. Rey felt bolder, and she could feel it in Ben too. As if being alone meant there was nobody to put out their fire, to tame or control them. They could fan the flames among themselves, like their moment in the supply closet a few days ago.

"What are you reading?" Ben's voice is much softer this time, and Rey closes her eyes and sucks in a breath and lets the sound of it wash over her. Then she actually realizes what he was saying, and she began to fumble with the book in her hands, trying to see what the hell it was even called.

"Uh, Pride and Prejudice…?" Rey stammered, saying the title as if it were a question. Why did she have to pick a book she didn't know a damn thing about?

Ben chuckled.

"Interesting, you didn't strike me as the type to enjoy a classic historical romance." she could hear the smirk playing on Ben's lips, which in turn made her smile.

"That's why you shouldn't judge a book by its cover," Rey stated matter-of-factly, leaning out from the sides of the chair placing the plain-looking book down on top of his pile. He peers around his armchair to take a look at the novel, and upon seeing the wordless cover, he guffaws. Rey joins in, his laughter contagious.

A sharp shushing comes from someone a few corridors away, reminding the two that they aren't alone. Their chuckles die out and they are hushed again, eyes intensely locked as they lean shyly around their armchairs.

"Why are you here?" Rey asks, the words leaving her lips breathily. Ben's eyes dart to Rey's mouth before he answers.

"I, um, just came to work on..." he strums his fingers against the pile of books. Rey watches as he gulps, Adam's apple bobbing in his throat "... to bring some books back." he nods. 

Rey raises an eyebrow at him "and to work on something?" she asks, curious to what he was about to say.

Ben tilts his head back, trying to play it cool, but Rey can see how his ears, that poke out from the sides of his coal-colored hair, are blushing.

"To work on a drawing."

Leaning back into her chair, Rey ponders something.

The sketch of the little boy with the scribbled out eyes crosses Rey's mind; the first time she'd laid eyes upon Ben's drawing skills some days ago. She noticed that the couple drawings she'd glimpsed at since then were of a similar nature- the eyes of the portrait were either missing or crossed out as if they were a mistake. Rey wonders why, and that with the combination of her feeling bold, her curiosity gets the better of her.

"Are you stuck on the eyes again?" her head pops back from around the chair, to find Ben still looking in her direction as if waiting to see her face again.

"The eyes?" he repeats, and Ben's blush spreads, meeting the beauty marks on his cheeks in a harmony of peachiness and ebony flecks.

"Of your drawing." she reiterates.

Rey's words are like a switch to Ben, as his face drains of color, his dark olive eyes widening. Before Rey can apologize for making him feel uncomfortable, for overstepping a line by taking a peek at his sketches, he's standing up and stumbling over his words.

"Uh, I just remembered, gotta see Professor Ditou about an assignment, um--" Ben goes to grab the pile of books but instead knocks them over, and they go tumbling to the floor.

"Oh, let me help you." Rey soothes, crouching down to help him pick up the scattered novels and textbooks. She grabs a book and holds it out to him, but he's too distracted scooping up the other volumes to notice.

"It's okay, I've got it." Ben's voice is strained, causing Rey to look up at him, startled. He looks back at her through the strands of his hair that cover his face.

His gaze is heavy, as if he's holding back a thousand words, a myriad of emotions.  _ What has gotten into him? _

With a messy pile of books in his arms, Ben nods at Rey to bid her farewell, and beelines out of the library before she can protest. She looks down at the book in her hand, and noticing the leather-bound exterior and pen loop with an artist's pencil wedged in its side, Rey realizes she's holding Ben's sketchbook.

Standing there with Ben's sketchbook in her hand, Rey can't deny the first thought that comes to her mind: whatever caused him to become so flustered when she asked about his drawings... just might be answered by looking through his sketchbook.

═════ ∘◦ ☽ ◦∘ ═════

Rey arrives home as the sun dips below the horizon, casting the rolling hills that surround the trailer park in the eerie ambiance of dusk. Clanking up the metal steps and opening the bubbled-glass door, she's greeted to the sight of the painting she'd made on Tuesday. She can't help but smile at the sight of it, and for a moment everything around her washes away.

Once she snaps out of it, she's reminded again of the place she calls home. Her humble trailer is the only place she has in this world, with it's peeling 70s wallpaper, matted carpet, and dated carved wood furniture galore. For as long as she could recall she's longed to move away, but she's barely able to scrape together enough money for rent and bills, let alone saving up for an apartment.

Looking to her left, Rey sees the pile of scrap metal and junk that she collected last weekend. She'd been meaning to head to the scrapper and sell it all week, but after coming home late each day from art class in such an elated mood, all she felt like doing was lying in bed and enjoying the feeling of weightlessness on her chest.

But Rey really  _ had  _ to sell the junk now, for rent day was soon approaching, and she'd promised to meet Rose and Finn in the city on Sunday. Sighing, she heads to the back of the trailer to grab some bin bags from her storage closet, passing her shoebox room and cramped bathroom. At the end of the hallway lies a closed door, and Rey eyes it with scorn as she grabs a wad of black bags.

Just the sight of the door makes her blood boil and somehow run cold at the same time. The sickening feeling of dread, mixed with rage. The door to her parents' bedroom hasn't been opened since they last left her, and Rey's lost track of the days since they've been gone. She tells herself that it's for the best, but as she kicks the door and storms away, she can't help but feel hurt at having to struggle through life this way.

At feeling abandoned.

═════ ∘◦ ☽ ◦∘ ═════

"Here we go- four bags of high-quality metal." Rey utters, refusing to make eye contact with the giant man with a bulbous face, standing behind his makeshift counter. She instead directs her gaze to behind him, looking out on the mountainous piles of scrap that extend as far as Rey's eye can see. In her mind, that scrap is worth its weight in gold. It's how she's managed to survive on her own for so long.

"High quality, hm? I'll be the judge of that." Unkar Plutt's gruff voice grates on Rey's nerves, but she dumps the bags down and steps back all the same. Not only was this buffoon the school janitor that always caught her making mischief, but he was also the junkyard owner and scrap seller. 

For a fee each month, Rey would be permitted to clamber the metallic mountains of rubbish in hopes of finding something valuable. Then, she would sell her findings back to Plutt. An easy enough life, or so she thought.

Plutt steps out from behind his counter, kneeling as he roots through the bags. Rey winces at the thought of him digging in with bare hands, thinking of the multitude of cuts and scrapes that span her arms, hands, fingers. But Plutt's built like a brick shithouse, with elephant skin to boot, meaningthe sharp steel doesn't even graze him.

"This is all shit." Plutt spits, and the people in line behind Rey snigger at her. She turns around to give them a death glare, before looking Plutt square in the eyes.

"What are you talking about? There's perfectly working car parts in there!" Rey is outraged. She has an awful feeling where this conversation is going.

Standing up straight, Plutt takes a step into Rey's comfort zone. She clenches her fists, but she doesn't step back. She refuses to show weakness.

"Are you calling me a liar?" Plutt utters, foul breath nearly making her gag. This was one of his favorite ways of intimidating Rey, though he always seemed to forget that it. never. worked.

"Yes I am." Rey spoke defiantly, taking joy in the brief moment that disbelief cracked on Unkar's stupid slack-jawed face.

Unkar Plutt was so rageful that he resorted not to words but violence, grabbing Rey by the arm so hard it would bruise and attempting to drag her out of the junkyard. She fought back, kicking and punching and flailing her arms wildly.

"Fuck you, Plutt!" She screamed, face burning red as the people stared at her, tutting and rolling their eyes as if  _ she  _ were the problem.

Still wordless, Unkar lets go of Rey's arm, throwing her away so she smacks down on the cold, hard ground.

"Consider this payment for your little spray-paint prank last week."

Rey hisses at Plutt's words-- she should have known better, of course he would be vengeful.

"Maybe then you'll think twice before insulting me, rat." 

Despite the tears that prick her eyes and pain that courses through her body, the tiniest smirk breaks on Rey's face as she dusts herself off and heads home.  _ Did it really take him a whole week to figure out what 'boorish oaf' meant? _

═════ ∘◦ ☽ ◦∘ ═════

Rey's entire Saturday is lost to scrap hunting, to make up for the four bags she'd lost the day before to Plutt's revenge. Clambering the piles of junk and rooting through the rubbish led to her arms being covered with scratches once more, so her evening was spent disinfecting the tiny wounds and recovering from an exhausting day.

As she was getting herself dressed to meet Rose and Finn on Sunday, she made sure to pick a hoodie, the raggedy one with sleeves that extended past her fingers, to hide the bruises she'd received from Plutt's iron-fisted grip. Her friends knew little to nothing about her home life, and they'd long ago realized it was best not to ask, for Rey didn't want to tell. They learned that Rey didn't want a shoulder to cry on, but someone to distract her from how life really was. And her bubbly friends did just that.

"Okay but Rey you have to help me! Yesterday I messaged him and he said…" Rey pressed her phone between her neck and ear as she darted around her apartment, preparing herself for a day in the city with her friends. Like always, Rose had called her before their outing to ask Rey over and over what she should do about Finn.

"Look, I've told you a thousand times before, just tell him you like him! It's obvious he likes you back." Rey tried to convince Rose, but judging by the shriek on the other end of the line, she wasn't having any of it. Like always.

"Tell him I LIKE him?! Why on EARTH would I do that?!"

A snort passed Rey's lips before she could contain it, eliciting a whiny "Reeeeeey!" from her dear friend.

"Okay, okay. You can't tell him," Rey stood in front of the mirror, placing the phone on speaker as she tied her hair in her signature three buns. As she mulled over the words in her head, her mind thought to Ben. Butterflies tickled her insides, and she found herself drawn to the painting she'd made in art class.

"I know it may come as a surprise to you, but I get it."

"Thank you!" Rose cries, and the relief in her voice is apparent. Then she chokes on her breath, questioning Rey.

"Wait, you understand where I'm coming from? Who are you and what have you done with the real Rey!?"

Rey's eyes widened as she realized what she'd just let slip. For months she'd told her friend that she didn't get  _ why  _ Rose and Finn couldn't confess their unrequited love, and now, for the first time, that had changed. A fact that Rose picked up on immediately.

"So, what made you change your mind? You caught feels for a guy or something?" Rose grilled, and Rey couldn't bring herself to speak as she emptied her backpack of school supplies, preparing it for a day in the city.

"Rey! Answer me, you know I'll make you confess either way!" Rose called out, but Rey was distracted by something else.

The black, leather-bound sketchbook of Ben Solo.

"I have to go, I'll see you at 12!" Rey told her friend, smashing the 'end call' button as she held the book in her hands as if it were the crown jewels.

She thought back to their encounter yesterday, at Ben's rushed departure when she asked him about his drawings. What had led him to get so flustered at the knowledge that she's seen them? With one turn of the page, she could find out…

"No. I mustn't." Rey sighed into the empty air, placing Ben's book on the couch and staring at herself straight in the mirror.

_ Respect his privacy _ , Rey thought.  _ How would I like it if someone invaded mine? _

═════ ∘◦ ☽ ◦∘ ═════

Rey walked the long way to the bus stop, where she took the bus from her little country town to the concrete paved roads of the nearest city. As far as cities go it was modest, by no means that of London or LA, but there were some fun stores and cafes to explore, making it a prime spot for her and her friends to meet up on weekends.

She arrived in the city with time to spare, so Rey took to walking the streets, seeing if she'd come across any interesting stores. Her mouth formed into a little 'o' as she stumbled across an art store down a side road, one she'd surely walked past before but paid no mind to, until her newfound passion for art. Stepping inside, Rey took a deep breath in, smelling the mixture of chalky paints and rich paper. She took to the aisles, strolling up and down and admiring anything that took her fancy.

"What do you think? I feel like the Mars Yellow is more what I'm looking for with this piece, but the Gold Ochre is something I'd use in general…" a familiar female voice pondered from the other aisle. Where did she recognize that accent from?

"I don't know, Mom. Just pick something." a male voice replied, rich and deep.

Rey furrowed her brow at the second voice, as it reminded her exactly of-- no, it couldn't be.

Peeking her head around the corner to stay hidden from view, Rey was greeted to a sight she never in her wildest dreams would have imagined.

"Don't be like that, son. If you're not interested in oil paints, just say. You can go look at the pencils in the other aisle." Leia, the art teacher  _ Leia Organa _ , said to Ben.  _ Ben Solo _ .

Son? Mom?  _ Could  _ it be…?

Before Rey even had the time to react, Ben was turning away from Leia (his MOM, Rey reminded herself) and heading straight for the aisle that Rey was spying from.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise there's fluff, romance and sexual tension in sight, i've just gotta build the angst up with drama and heartache and stuff <3 this chapter was particularly plot-heavy due to me catching up with story threads i'd neglected previously, but things will balance out from here on.
> 
> thank you a gazillion times over for reading and enjoying and kudo'ing and commenting on this fic, it means the world to me 🥺


	7. pendants

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been way too long!! i hope everyone hasn't forgotten about this fic 🥺 I didn't intend to go so long without uploading. sorry for keeping you waiting <3
> 
> but i'm back with another plot-driven, emotions filled chapter! hope you like awkwardness, pining, and as always, angst! because that's what this chapter is all about.
> 
> i switched things up and made a little mood board this time, you can see it below!

[ ](https://imgur.com/ga9uqIE)

One moment, Rey was browsing the aisles of an art store in the city on what was supposed to be a laid back Sunday.

Then the next, she was darting out of the store and sprinting down the street, trying to put some distance between herself and what she had just seen. Learned. Understood? She couldn't make sense of it.

For a split second back there, as she heard Ben approaching the aisle, she had the urge to tug him behind the shelves she was hidden behind, questioning him about what the hell was going on. She soon realized though that the words wouldn't have come, and what words would they be anyway? So, Rey fled the scene.

Once she'd turned the block Rey resorted back to her regular walking pace, and, hearing a nearby church chime it's bells twelve times, she headed for the Resistance Base, the cafe she would be meeting Rose and Finn at.

As Rey walked, she thought about how enigmatic Ben Solo is turning out to be. He ticks the boxes for tall, dark, and handsome, but to add to the whirlwind of emotions, there was something in that sketchbook he didn't want her to see. And now Dr. Leia Organa, art class professor, is the Mom of Ben Solo? She could never have guessed, considering they had different last names.

The more Rey uncovered about Ben the more she wanted to know.

"Peanut! There you are." Finn's cheerful tone snaps Rey out of her train of thoughts, as her friends' arms wrap around her. She sighs, squeezing Finn and Rose tightly. With all the craziness that happened lately, it means a lot to have her friends to ground her.

"Let's head inside, it's pretty packed but I'm sure we can find a table," Rose suggests, pushing the chiming door open, elbow-to-elbow with Finn. Rey admires them as she strolls behind the two, for how natural they act around each other despite the fact that they're secretly head over heels. She feels like she can barely compose herself around Ben in comparison.

"Sooo, how has your weekend been?" Finn leans in at the table they've sat at, coffee and bites to eat scattered about. Rey smiles back at him, shrugging as she takes in the scenery of the Resistance Base cafe. Rose and Finn are always hanging out here as they live in the city; to them the abundance of greenery, industrial concrete ceiling and walls, mish-mash furniture, and artsy people that fill the place don't make them bat an eye.

To Rey, however, being in a place like this is similar to being in another world. Like an alien planet that somehow exudes a sense of belonging that Rey herself has never had the chance to know. There's only one place I almost feels like I belong, when I'm sitting there next to him...

Rey bites her lip at the thought of Ben and what had just transpired.

"See, I told you something's up with her!" Rose giggles, and her and Finn share a knowing look. Rey groans- oh no, did Rose tell Finn about how she was behaving on the phone? Minus the fact that they were talking about Rose's unrequited love for Finn, of course.  
"Nothing's up, what? I'm just admiring the place."  
Her words elicit a playful eye-roll from Finn. Rose is the one to lean in this time, laying her hands on the table as she speaks.

"Rey, you haven't been to the principal's office all week. You're always running off to that after school class he makes you go to, and I even caught you smiling to yourself in Ditou's class yesterday--"  
"I'm trying to stay out of trouble, so what?!" Rey protests, and Finn wags a finger at her.  
"Nuh-uh. We know you're the queen of sneaky pranks and undetected tricks, and you haven't even been doing any of those since last Friday. Which leaves only one explanation in our mind."

Rey feels her skin prickle on the back of her neck in preparation for what's to come next. It's like she hears the words before they even leave their mouths.  
"Tell us who the lucky guy is!" they exclaim.

Groan. There's no escaping now.

"Okay, fine! Yes, I think... I might… I kinda like someone." Rey confesses, and Rose and Finn holler and howl as if she's just told them about the second coming of Jesus.  
"Finally, she admits it!" Rose cries aloud, while Finn applauds for dramatic effect. Usually, Rey would feel embarrassed, worried that the eyes of the cafe would turn on her, but if there was one thing she knew about The Resistance, it's that the people are just as strange as her and her friends. The thought lets Rey relax in her chair a little.

"Don't ask me who it is, I'm not prepared to say. Plus… It's complicated." Rey sighs, unable to hide her dejection.  
"It always is, girl." Rey looks up to meet Rose's eyes, and the two share a knowing smile.  
"Complicated? How? You like him, I bet he feels the same, just go for it!" Finn shrugs, as the two girls look at him like he's crazy. Rose shakes her head.

"Ignore the boy, he doesn't have a clue," Rose says "what's making things so difficult, Rey? Surely there's a way around it."  
Rey feels Rose's concerned eyes analyzing Rey's face, as she tries very hard not to crack and show an ounce of emotion. For she fears if she lets even the smallest emotion slip, the dam will break and all her pent-up emotions will flow.

"I thought I was getting to know him," Rey began, looking up to the ceiling as she tried to compose herself "but then he started acting really funny and secretive about something, and then I learned something else about him that's confusing and weird and changes a lot and now--"  
"Deep breaths, Rey." Finn eases, placing his hand on Rey's back. She breathes as instructed.

"I don't know," Rey admits, finally. "I don't know where I stand with him."  
"Oh, honey…" Rose frowns, giving Rey a consoling hug. Rey squeezes her eyes shut and tries hard not to let tears fall.  
"I like him, Rose, I like him so much..." Rey whispers to her female friend, out of earshot of Finn.  
"Me too," Rose murmurs, and for a moment the friends share their heartache.

"Suggestion: have you tried talking to him about it? Maybe he's just self-conscious about some things." Finn added quietly.  
"I don't feel like talking about this anymore." Rey blurted. The thought of talking to Ben about her feelings made her stomach do somersaults.  
"Me neither," Rose adds, and a silence falls over the trio.

"One more thing," Finn asks, breaking the quiet air. Rey looks at him, nodding for him to speak.  
"Can we know a little bit more about this person? Like, do we know them? Is he in your art class?" he smirks cheekily.  
"Finn!" Rose and Rey bark at the same time. Finn holds his hands up in defeat, and the three friends break into laughter.

═════ ∘◦ ☽ ◦∘ ═════

The rest of the day flies by, and Rey gets home just in time for dinner, pouring a tin of baked beans on the stove while she absentmindedly watches a nature documentary. Nature documentaries always captivate Rey's attention, and it's not just because of David Attenborough's voice.

No, seeing that big beautiful world out there gives Rey hope. Hope that one day she can get out of this place that's tied her down her whole life.

Once the beans are boiling and the toast is buttered, Rey heads over to the couch to sit down and devour her meal. She jumps back up and curses when her backside makes contact with a hard rectangular object laying on the sofa.

Ben's sketchbook.

Rey's mind wanders back to her conversation with her friends today, when Finn mentioned that her crush could be self-conscious about some things, hence why he seems so secretive. At the time, Rey barely gave Finn's words a second thought, finding it unfathomable that someone as insanely attractive, inspiringly skillful, and magnetically good-natured could have confidence issues. But the more she thinks about her previous interactions with Ben, the more things seem to add up.

His sometimes curt words. The way the tips of his ears turn pink. When he stumbles on his words. The long, enigmatic gazes he gives her until she glances at him and he turns away, pouting.

"Just talk to him…" Rey mouths, mimicking Finn from earlier. Then she laughs to herself, the sound turning into a sigh as she realizes the truth of the words.

Whether she likes it or not, that's exactly what Rey will have to do. Hand Ben back his sketchbook on Monday. Oh, and let him know she knows that Leia Organa is his mom.

═════ ∘◦ ☽ ◦∘ ═════

The final bell of the day rings and Rey's stomach drops as she realizes what that signifies. Art class. Speaking to Ben. The sketchbook. Leia.

With a heaving sigh, she leaves her homeroom and heads for the bright lights and paint-stained floors of the studio. Stopping off at her locker, Rey drops off an armful of textbooks, saying goodbye to Rose and Finn along the way. Turning the corner to the art department, her eyes are greeted to the sight of Ben crouching at his locker, rummaging through it with anxious energy.

Rey staggers at the entrance to the hallway, her converse squeaking on the tile. Ben peers over his shoulder to see who's there, and upon seeing Rey, his eyes widen and his face breaks into a smile.  
"Rey, hi." Ben greets her tentatively, the smile lines around his eyes and on his cheeks evoking a deep longing within Rey. She walks towards him slowly, overcome by the need to reach up and run a finger along each happy crease.

"Ben." is all Rey can utter as she stops in front of him, her mouth feeling like sandpaper. Ben stands to full height, and Rey notes that she only just reaches his shoulders; he's so tall. She notices the way his posture slouches at her monotonous reply, and she wants to tell him that it's all okay, that things are awkward between them for another reason… But it's so hard to explain when he's standing there with his thick biceps and plush lips, making Rey all flustered and intimidated and longing.

"Have you by any chance seen…" Ben begins to ask, but Rey is striding away into the art studio before he can finish your sentence.  
"See you in class," She chokes, entering the classroom.

"Rey! Lovely to see you as always. Do you know if Ben's on his way?" Leia grins when Rey enters, and Rey notices her smile is strikingly similar to Ben's. They really are related…

Rey gets to her seat, and before she can answer Ben is skulking through the door, his dark eyes looking at the ground.  
"There you are! Now everyone's arrived, let's start." Leia exclaims, clapping her hands together to gain the attention of the rest of the room.  
He takes his regular seat next to Rey, and she breaks her attention from Leia to glance at him. He looks back at her with a cold, enigmatic stare that she remembers him looking at her with before they'd properly spoken. Before she'd started falling for him.

In the past week, even more people had left the art class, leaving participant numbers down to a third of the original group. Rey finds she quite likes it: the thought of her fellow peers looming over her shoulder, seeing her very personal creative works, is quite jarring. What's more, those that have stayed have a true passion for art, so distractions and disruptions are at a minimum.

"Today, class, we're going to be trying an entirely new technique for painting." Leia strolls about the room as she speaks.  
"Some of you are getting along very well," Rey swears Leia looks at her and Ben when she says it "so I thought this method would be a great way to not only develop your skills but to bond with others too,"  
"Today, we will be doing…" Leia pauses for dramatic effect, and a student near the back of the classroom drums on the table.

"Pendants!"  
Rey is confused. What? They're working on jewelry now?  
"No, not the necklaces… Pendants are two paintings created that are intended to be a pair," she smirks, as if she'd read Rey's mind.  
Some students hum understandingly. Leia places a hand on her hip and gives a quick nod.

"Now, one way to think of pendants is to regard them as essentially the same painting, only spread over two canvases. They should flow into one another, both thematically, creatively, spiritually…"  
Tingles shoot up Rey's spine and down her arms at Leia's words. There's something magical about the possibility of two separate paintings connecting on such a deep level, Rey thinks.

For a brief moment, Rey feels her nerves over confronting Ben begin to wash away. She gets lost in the moment, amongst the chatter of art and painting, until Leia drops the all-too-obvious bomb…  
"Now, as pendants are two paintings, you can guess what that means!"  
Rey blinks hard at Leia's words. Oh. Oh.  
"I want you all to get into pairs. Take your time, now, as you'll be working with this person very... closely."

Rey and Ben turn to look at each other simultaneously, and anxiety floods back into Rey's body like a dam bursting. They're the only two people sitting in the front row, so naturally they would be partners in this project.  
In any other circumstance this would be a dream come true for Rey, but considering the words that are on the tip of her tongue, the tension is so thick Rey feels as if she's drowning in it.

"Gather your usual supplies, and once you've sat back at your desk we can begin." Leia's voice sounds far-off, and Rey is brought back to reality by Ben laying a giant hand on her forearm. It's warm, comforting, grounding.  
"Are you okay?" he asks softly "you don't look so well."

Rey realizes she's been staring at him, no, through him, the entire time. His brows are knit together with worry. She can feel Leia's eyes on them from the other side of the room.  
"I-- I need some air." Rey chokes, snatching her bag from under her desk   
"May I be excused?" she asks Leia, racing out of the studio before she can get an answer.

Rey has no destination in mind, letting her feet carry her somewhere where she can sit, breathe, and think about what she has to say. As if she hasn't thought about it enough, when tossing back and forth in bed until sunrise. The question that she shoves to the back of her mind, but one she knows she has to answer sooner or later, torments her: why do I care so much?

"Rey! Wait up," Ben's strained voice calls from behind her in the empty hallway, and she freezes, turning to face him. There's no point running from him, she'd sprinted halfway across the building and he'd caught up in a matter of seconds. With a deep breath, she looks up at him as he approaches.

"Wh-what's going on?" Ben pants, running a hand through his wavy hair as he catches his breath. Her heart wrenches at the sight of him, out of breath after chasing after her, asking if she's alright. Nobody had ever done that for Rey before, much less someone she feels so strongly for.  
"First you rush into class, then you're fidgeting the entire time, and now you run out in a panic… Is there something on your mind?" Ben asks her, and she has to tear her eyes from his face before her emotions betray her.

Just talk to him… The words echo in her mind. Right now, in this empty hallway, just the two of them. But first, she has to give back what's his.

Swinging her backpack around, she unzips it and pulls the leather-bound sketchbook from the messy contents. She holds it out to him, hand trembling.  
"Wh-- how--" Ben stammers, bewildered.  
"You left it in the library on Friday." she explains, voice low. He takes it from her hand, electricity sparking between them as their fingers brush. Ben clutches the book by his side, opening his mouth to perhaps thank Rey, until she stops him with the more pressing matter at hand.

"I know, Ben. I. Know. I didn't mean to see, but I did, and now I don't know what to think." Rey blurts, unable to bring herself to say it out loud.  
Ben's face drops, and it dawns on her that this is playing out just as bad as she'd anxiously anticipated.  
"You know?" his voice is but a whisper, and Rey nods. She watches his Adam's apple bob as he gulps nervously. The vulnerability of his words stirs something deep inside of her.  
"And I've been racking my brain all day yesterday and today, wondering how to tell you--"

"I can explain." Ben utters his words through a clenched jaw, and Rey is taken aback by his reaction. His face is blank, yet somehow she can sense the ripples of shame that threaten to break the surface.  
"Explain? I don't see what there is to explain," Rey begins to ask, until Ben speaks again.  
"Wait. What are you talking about?" The color begins to drain from Ben's face, and he quietens.

"What do you mean? I know, Ben--" Rey begins  
"Please, I really can explain--" Ben overlaps Rey's speech

"I know that Leia's your Mom!" // "About the drawing in my book!"

Silence.

Ben and Rey's faces mirror one another perfectly; mouths agape, eyes wide, a mixture of confusion and realization upon their faces. The air is thick with tension.  
"You know Leia's my mom?" Ben whispers to Rey, breaking the silence. His breath is labored, the dark strands of hair that frame his face swaying back and forth with each breath.  
"What drawing in your book?" Rey asks, matching his tone.

They stand there for a moment, eyes trailing across each other's faces as they take in the words that had just been spoken. Rey is taken aback at the spanner that's been thrown into the mix: what was there to see in Ben's sketchbook? And why did he have to explain it to her? She watches Ben's chest rise and fall, hair covering his face and dark eyes penetrating her. The tension in the air is unbearable.

At the feeling of it all, the desire it stirs inside of her, Rey is overcome with the urge to close the distance between them. She doesn't want to fight with Ben, or ignore him, or bicker, or give him nervous glances while they paint under the golden light of the setting sun. She wants to be close to him, so close, to feel his skin brush against hers, to know how his hands feel against her back as he holds her close, to reach up and press their lips together and melt into him.

Rey's heart left her with no choice. Fuck. Here goes nothing

Stepping forward, Rey readies herself to reach on her tip-toes, grab Ben's shirt, and press her needy lips onto his.

Until--

"Shouldn't you two be with Leia?" the curious voice of Luke Skywalker asks, as he appears out of nowhere. Rey jumps at the sound of his voice, turning to look at the principal with wide eyes.  
"I-- uh, we--" she stutters, but Ben speaks up, covering for her.

"Rey wasn't feeling too well, so she's going home early. I came out of class to check on her." Ben's voice is calm, but when Rey turns to look at him with her mouth agape, she sees a tiny muscle under his eye twitch.   
He knew what I was about to do just then. He knew that I wanted to kiss him.  
"What a pity! Go home and rest, Rey. We'll see you tomorrow." Luke replies, dismissing her without a second thought. Usually Luke was so scrutinizing to her, judging every small thing she did. For him to trust her off the bat was a crying relief.

"Uh, yeah, bye." Rey mumbles, turning her back and walking down the hallway, away from Ben and Luke. Just as she's about to turn the corner, she looks back, and her eyes make a swift connection with Ben's.  
Shivers shift across Rey's whole body as her and Ben make unwavering eye contact, their gazes saying more than words ever could.

Eventually, Ben nods, his eyes dark and telling. Rey musters a nod back, knowing that their conversation was not yet finished, that they would speak tomorrow.

Reluctantly, Rey turns back around and makes her way back to the trailer park, left only with the longing sensation of nearly having Ben's mouth pressed against hers, and the yearning curiosity of what their conversation tomorrow would lead to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops. i promise i'll stop putting them in tense situations like this soon! all i want to do is push them together and shout "NOW KISS"
> 
> with ben and rey working together on their pendant paintings, they're going to have to become a lot closer than they already are...


	8. rulebreaker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can't thank you all enough for all the love and support you give this fic, it means so much to me and motivates me immeasurably. thank you thank you thank youuu <3

[ ](https://imgur.com/aku9lRW)

Who knew that tomorrow would take so long to arrive?

Rey couldn't think about anything else all night, her mind replaying the events of her and Ben's confrontation over and over. He hadn't realized she was talking about Leia being his Mom… He'd thought it had something to do with his sketchbook. That secretive, leather-bound book he would clutch close to his chest as he sketched away.

Which begged the question for Rey… What was in the book that was such a big deal for Rey to not see? Something as big as her finding out that Ben is the son of Leia Organa, the quirky after-school art class teacher?

There was no use denying why Rey cared so much about that now. Her body had betrayed her, carrying her over to him, prepared to kiss him with such intensity… Rey wanted Ben more than she'd wanted anything else, and knowing that the art teacher was his Mom opened up a whole new level of knowledge, a personal connection that Rey wasn't quite ready to experience.

Everything will sort itself out tomorrow, Rey told herself. If she could only wait...

But if there was one thing Rey wasn't good at, it was being patient. And confrontation, heaven forbid if she had to approach Ben about this again. She dreaded that it would only end up even worse than last time, as impossible as that may be.

Waiting until after school tomorrow and speaking to Ben about things was ruled out completely.

No, at that moment, as Rey lay on her sofa in her scruffy PJs, bathed in the moonlight that streamed through her grimy trailer windows, she only had one answer in her mind, as the rebellious streak ignited in her again:

She had to steal Ben's sketchbook and see what he was hiding.

═════ ∘◦ ☽ ◦∘ ═════

Rey stands beside her locker the next morning, pressing her temples to quell the headache that plagues her brain from lack of sleep. Usually, she would head to her homeroom and take a nap until the bell for the first class rang, but right now she was on a mission.

She sees her friends approaching in the distance, chatting away to themselves with nervous excited energy, and her breath hitches in her throat. She can't speak to them yet. Or else she won't have a chance to see…

Ben Solo appears from behind Rey, swerving left into the art studio corridor that's just within Rey's eyesight from where she stands, beside her locker. Leaning back and pressing onto the lockers for support, Rey watches as Ben walks up to his locker, crouching down and opening it with his large, agile fingers.

"Peaaaanuuuuut!" Rey hears her friends call for her, but her mind is still focused on him. Just a few more moments, and she'll see...

Ben pulls out his sketchbook from his backpack, placing it in his locker and locking it. He stays crouched, giant palm pressed against the metal, and as if by instinct he turns around to see Rey ogling him. Their eyes make brief, intense contact.

"Earth to Rey! You there?" Rose waves a hand in front of Rey's face, and she's snapped back to reality. She feels heated prickles of embarrassment spread up her face.

"Who are you admiring there, hm?" Finn cocks an eyebrow at Rey, peering around the corridor to see. Rey's heart drops, but when she looks back to the hallway, Ben is nowhere to be seen.

"Nobody! What? No..." Rey stammers, but as her friends chuckle she can't help but smile. The first part of her plan, which was, for the most part, wishful thinking, was in place.

Ben had left his sketchbook in his locker today.

═════ ∘◦ ☽ ◦∘ ═════

That afternoon, in the tiny window of time Rey had before the final period ends and the school day is over, Rey sneaks out of Professor Dituou's drama class and heads to Ben's locker to begin the second part of her mission.

Growing up with a less than favorable home life, Rey learned a few tricks of the trade that could help her out if she were ever in a pinch. One of those skills was lockpicking. Pulling a bobby pin out of her hair, Rey crouches down beside Ben's locker and begins picking the lock.

The lock is more tricky than Rey initially had assumed, but after breaking a couple of pins the locker door finally pops open. Her hands snake inside and wrap around the sketchbook that's laying neatly atop a pile of textbooks, her fingers brushing the leather-bound exterior as she ponders what's hidden inside.

But then a figure casts Rey in shadow, and judging by the slow, growling chuckle, Rey doesn't think that it's Ben. Her heart drops into her stomach as she turns around and is met with Unkar Plutt leering down at her.

"Well well, the rat has been caught stealing," Plutt utters with a self-satisfied look on his face, upper lip curled. Rey tries to speak, make an excuse, or just tell Plutt to bugger off, but the words won't come. The reality of the situation hits her, then. She knows what this means, and it makes her want to scream.

"Principal's office, now!" Rey snarls at him, baring her teeth like an animal trapped in a corner, but before she can get away he's grabbing her by the still-bruised arm and carting her off to Luke Skywalker.

═════ ∘◦ ☽ ◦∘ ═════

Rey waits for Principal Skywalker to return from an afternoon meeting for twenty minutes, staying behind well-after the final bell of the day has rung, cutting into art class time.

She was missing the first class of pendant painting, and her heart drops at the thought of it. It soon plummets, however, when it dawns on her that she might not ever attend another art class again. Or any classes, for that matter.

Once Luke arrives, his wiry hair and beard slightly unkempt after a long day, Plutt stands to attention, relishing in the opportunity to report his most hated student's latest antics.

"Caught her breaking into another student's locker, Mr. Skywalker! Thieving, even! In the art corridor--"

"I can take it from here, Unkar." Luke gives the janitor a stern nod, cutting him off from his rambling speech. Unkar snickers, quiet enough that only Rey can hear it, and he exits the secretary's office.

"Wait here," Luke orders Rey, and enters his office. She hears him dial a number on the office phone, and it rings a couple of times before a familiar heartwarming voice answers.  
"Hi Leia, Rey won't be attending your class this afternoon. I'm afraid the worst has happened. No, that won't be necessary. Yes, I mean it. Okay, bye." Luke releases a heaving sigh as he places the phone back on the receiver.

Shame burns through Rey, thinking about what Leia would think of her. Trying to steal from her son, oh god. Had Rey really managed to ruin everything?

"Come in," Luke calls, and she opens the principal's office door with clammy, shaking hands. She takes a seat on the chair opposite to Luke's grand teak desk, and silence engulfs the room. The kind that presses on your chest and makes you shuffle in your seat, just to rid yourself from the weight of it.

Rey's eyes are glued to the floor, and she can feel Skywalker's eyes burning into her. When she finally does look up, the look on his face makes her stomach lurch. She feels like she's going to vomit, knowing the words that will come out of his mouth before he even says them.

"You know what this means, Rey."

She does. She knows exactly what this means. She had one chance to keep on the straight and narrow, one more chance to prove that she can stay out of trouble, and…

"I fucked up." Rey blurts, too distressed to worry about swearing in front of the principal. What does it matter, anyway? It was game over.

"I believed in you. You were making progress in Leia's class, I only heard good things about your behavior there… but it doesn't deter from the decision you have made."

Rey is at a loss for words. She thinks of Rose and Finn, her two best friends, and not being able to see them almost every day. No more playing around in class, no inside jokes, no more of Finn's awful musical singing in drama class, or Rose's passionate sciency ramblings during chemistry. Alone. Rey would be very alone.

"What were you thinking, Rey? Breaking into another student's locker, trying to steal nonetheless? I know you're one for a trick or prank, but this is attempted thievery. It is inexcusable." Luke continues to berate her, but unlike past lectures, he is not angry or annoyed at her. No, his emotions are much stronger. He is disappointed.

Bitter tears prick in Rey's eyes, but she manages to nod understandingly. Luke was right- what was she thinking? She should have never broken into Ben's locker, letting her selfish curiosity get the better of her.

The swirling thoughts of impending loneliness come to the horrid realization of being trapped in that awful trailer park with no easy way of getting out. Rey had squandered her chances at graduating high school and the chance of going to University in a matter of minutes. And she only had herself to blame.

"Well, Miss--"  
"Rey. Just call me Rey." she chokes, wishing for the formalities to be over.  
"Okay, Rey. I am afraid that I will have to order your suspension from Naboo High starting immediately."  
The words hit Rey like a stake to the heart. She drops her head again, staring at her trembling hands in her lap.

Luke Skywalker rests his hands on his desk, steepling them together before continuing to talk "You are to collect your belongings from your locker, and you will be escorted from the premises by Mr. Plutt, who will--"

Luke is interrupted by a frantic rasping on his door, which flies open before he can bid the person entry. They enter, and the door swings shut just as fast as it opened.  
"Wait, this is just a misunderstanding!" Ben Solo's deep voice fills the room, and Rey's whole body turns to look at him in awe. 

The hair that frames his face is tousled as if he'd been running his fingers through it frantically. Pink tinges his cheeks and ear-tips, contrasting with the wide whites of his eyes. The breath gets caught in Rey's throat as she looks up at him, all tall and broad and strong. He looks back at her with those dark, enigmatic eyes that make butterflies blossom in Rey's insides.

"Ben! What reason do you have to storm in like this?! Explain yourself." Luke's words cut like steel, sharp and stern. Yet Ben doesn't break under the pressure, he doesn't seem to even flinch. Rey can't take her eyes off him, waiting at the edge of his seat for what he has to say.  
"Mom told me what you're about to do," Ben confesses "but you don't understand, it's not what it seems."

"Mister Solo! What are you saying?!" Luke gasps, trying to maintain his composure, but Rey can see his face turning beet red at Ben's mention of Leia.  
"It's okay. Rey knows." Ben nods, and Luke looks back at Rey with his mouth agape, raising an eyebrow as if asking for confirmation. Rey turns back to Luke, clearing her throat and shuffling in her seat, trying to gather herself.

"I saw them together at an art store in the city," Rey confirms, and she hears Ben hum from behind her. Now he knows too, at least.  
"I told her she ought to be careful, but my sister seems to always know best…" Luke murmurs, almost to himself.  
"Sister?" Rey's jaw nearly hits the floor at the revelation. 

"You didn't tell her already?" Luke asks Ben, eyebrows raised. Ben shakes his head, lips set in a thin line.  
"Well, now you know." Luke sighs, waving his hand in the air as he rolls his eyes.  
"Anyway, back to the matter at hand."

Ben drags a chair from the corner of the room to place beside Rey. He's wearing a black wool sweater today, soft and snug looking, and a part of Rey's hormonal mind gets the urge to bury her face in it and escape everything.  
"As I was saying, it's not what it seems. Rey didn't do anything wrong." Ben states, his voice unwavering.

"Well then, I'd love to hear an explanation." Luke places his hands behind his head, kicking his feet up on the desk. Rey is taken aback at the principal's lack of professionalism. Looking over to Ben, however, she sees that he's still unfazed. I guess it makes sense, she ponders, considering Luke is Ben's Uncle...

Ben clears his throat, sitting up straight in his chair.  
"I borrowed a textbook of Rey's and forgot to give it back. She needed to return it to her Professor today or else she'd get in trouble." Ben explains.  
"Which professor was this?" Luke snaps at Rey, testing the verity of Ben's words.  
"Professor Maz." Rey blurts off the top of her head. Luke's gaze is suspicious, but he turns back to Ben and nods for him to continue.

"Rey messaged me earlier today, asking if she could get the textbook back, but I didn't have the time to meet before her class." Ben continues.  
"I messaged him during lunch, for the record. I didn't use my phone in class." Rey speaks up, smiling slightly.  
"Exactly. I jokingly suggested she pick the lock on my locker and get her book back, but little did I know she possessed such skills." The semblance of a smirk plays on Ben's face as he spoke, and Rey bites the inside of her cheek to curb the redness that was appearing on her cheeks. He was speaking the truth right now; he really did know little of Rey's mischievous antics.  
"So I gave her the all-clear to get into my locker, so she wouldn't get in trouble with Professor Maz."

Luke nods along to Ben's words, though his head is held low, concealing his real thoughts on the matter. But Ben doesn't stop, continuing to back up Rey.

"As you know, Rey's been creating some amazing pieces in Mom's class. She won't stop talking about how amazed she is at her talent,"  
Rey bites her lip to hold back the smile that wants to spread across her face and happy tears that wish to fill her eyes.  
"She's trying really hard, Uncle. I promise. I sit next to her, I see it," his voice is quiet now, and his last sentence echoes in Rey's mind. 'I see it'. He sees me.

"This is all my fault. If I'd been responsible and given back Rey's textbook in time, then she would have never had to shimmy into my locker." as Ben finishes his sentence with firmness, the room trails off into silence. Luke steeples his hands again, this time resting his head atop them. He stares at Rey and Ben with a penetrative gaze, as if waiting for either one of them to break under the pressure.

Ben shifts in his seat beside Rey, and she glances at him through her peripheral vision. Judging by the feeling of warmth and safeness washing over her, she feels that Ben is doing the same.

"Alright, then. I see what's happened here," Luke nods, brow furrowed, and for a split second Rey's stomach tightens. She feels like she's awaiting a verdict.  
"A misunderstanding." Ben chimes in, and Luke's crumpled face eases.  
"Yes, a misunderstanding. Rey, you will not be suspended." Luke sighs, waving a hand towards Ben and Rey to dismiss them.  
"Now get out of here, I want to be home before the re-run of Galaxy Wars."

Rey scrambles out of the Principal's Office faster than Luke can blink, not wanting to give him the chance to change his mind. Ben follows close behind, like a guardian angel watching over her.

Luke's office door closes, and Ben and Rey step out of the empty secretary's office into the equally deserted hallway. They're lit by the glow of the low-hanging sun and the dim hanging lights, casting them in a fiery hue.  
Rey is in half a mind to keep walking, back to her locker where she'll dump her stuff and then head straight home to scream her emotions out into a pillow. But when Ben stops walking, Rey can't help but do the same.

She turns around slowly, savoring the moment she has to cast her eyes on him in this private moment. She notices for the first time the olive flecks amongst his earthen brown irises, and she realizes that his eyes are not so dark after all. But they're so deep, and Rey is certainly getting lost in them.

As they gaze at each other, guilt and shame rise in Rey's chest. The thought of him knowing that she was a petty thief, a troublemaker, a nuisance. Her feelings mixed with the fact that there was so much left unsaid between them, brewing into a big overwhelming ball of anxiety that weighed on Rey's chest.

"Thank you." Rey manages to whisper, hanging her head low to hide the tears that well in her eyes. She was this close to her life being ruined back there, but Ben Solo had made sure that it didn't happen.  
"For saving me back there. I didn't deserve it," she adds, choking on her words at her last sentence. Ben steps forward ever so slightly, his arm twitching outwards, but Rey shuffles back. She squeezes her eyes shut, waiting for the blow of Ben expressing just how horrified, how disappointed, how betrayed he is by her.

But it doesn't come.

"Of course you deserve it. You would have done the same for me." Ben says as if it's the most natural reaction in the world. Rey snaps her head up, staring at him with wide eyes.  
"In fact, I owe you an apology. I should never have left you hanging after yesterday..." he admits, bottom lip trembling ever so slightly. Rey knows he's talking about the drawing in his book she has yet to see.  
"I'm sorry." they both murmur simultaneously.

The sun dips low enough to hit them both in the eyes right then, and so they squint, turning away from the window.

"It's getting late," Rey notes "I should head home."  
"I want to explain myself to you. Explain everything… Can I walk you home?" Ben asks, his bottom lip trembling again.

Ben Solo was offering to walk her home? The giddy schoolgirl inside Rey jumps up and down in joy.  
She loses herself in his eyes again, breaking away only to study the trail of beauty marks that scatter his face. She can see that he is doing the same to her, taking in all of her face with each little stare. The thought of being looked at which such meaning gives Rey a grounded, rooted feeling.

She replies to Ben's question with a face-splitting grin, and a nod to go with it.  
"Yes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that was a close call. but ben came to the rescue!
> 
> oh, and THEY'RE FINALLY GOING TO TALK! hahah. it was originally going to be a part of this chapter, but think it was best to have that as it's own chapter. who knows what could happen...


	9. good boy sweater

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> May the 4th be with you!! I had to get this chapter released today, happy star wars day to you!<3
> 
> This chapter is written entirely in Ben’s pov! I thought it would be interesting to see into his mind for their talk. and i know this stuff is meant to come in a slow trickle but i've been holding back for so long… so have ALL the feels! hope you dont mind hahah
> 
> ALSO i realized while writing this that the kylo ren side of ben does not exist at all in this fic and im not sure who made that decision (because it CERTAINLY wasn't me, i would have loved edgy highschool kylo haha) and this fic is pure soft mooshiness.

[ ](https://imgur.com/F48b5qi)

Ben looks down at Rey as she walks by his side, and his heart swells in a way he can't explain. His steps feel lighter, the world looks brighter, and he's having a harder time than ever to wipe the grin off his face that always wants to appear when she's around.

She doesn't notice him admiring her, her attention focused on the sky that's painted in streaks of blue, purple, and pink. Her trademark three-bun hairstyle bobs when she walks, and he has to refrain from the urge to poke them and chuckle.

"Which way do you live?" Ben asks once they reach the country road outside of the school grounds. She points towards a cluster of rolling hills on the horizon, and they begin making their way to Rey's home.

"So…" Rey sighs, breaking the silence that had fallen over the two.  
"Yeah, so," Ben stumbles over his words, so caught up in Rey's determined little face as she chews her lip and hums to herself, that he forgot the reason he had proposed to walk her home.

He'd been holding back the truth from her for far too long, but he was going to confess. At least, tell her as much as he could right now.

He takes one more sneaking gaze at her, that spreads warmth and courage throughout his chest, and Ben begins to tell Rey what he'd been holding back all this time.

"In my sketchbook is a drawing that means a lot to me. I'm working on it still, but I'd like you to see it," the words all but tumble out of his mouth, words he's been wanting to speak for weeks.

"I'm just having trouble with one part of the drawing, one thing that keeps holding me back…" Ben sucks in a breath, fighting the feeling of failure.  
"The eyes," Rey breaths, finishing his sentence.

They turn to look at each other, lips parted and breath hitched. He nods, averting his eyes from her freckled face as he feels his ears beginning to warm.  
"The eyes," he repeats, but in his mind, he whispers something else. Your eyes.

"Maybe… I could help?" Rey squeaks, and Ben notices she's fidgeting with her hands.  
"Perhaps having an in-person reference would make it easier," she adds, dropping her arms by her sides and shrugging. Ben has to dig his nails into his palms to make sure he isn't dreaming.  
"You'd do that?" he whispers, dumbfounded.

"Of course, if it means I'd get a chance to finally see into your mysterious sketchbook," she smirks, eliciting a lop-sided smirk from Ben.  
"Deal." he nods, and Rey stops walking to extend her hand for Ben to shake. He takes her dainty hand, holding it gently, feeling the softness and slight chill of her skin and wishing he could keep holding it, warm her up.

They let go and continue walking down the dusky road.

"You know, in the time I've known you, you've never struck me as being a rebel," Ben notes, breaking the brief silence  
"A rebel?!" Rey gasps dramatically, feigning offense.

"A prankster, trickster. I've heard rumors of some of your escapades, like spiking professor Maz' coffee with capsaicin, but in the time I've known you, you've been pretty studios." Ben chuckles, and he's mostly teasing her, but a part of him is curious to learn more about the mischievous side of Rey.

"First of all, it wasn't capsaicin, it was just hot sauce, and who was I to know that she had an allergy to the stuff?" Rey outbursts and Ben is taken aback by this fiery side of her. He'd seen it the first time they'd spoken, on the rooftop when he'd gotten under her skin and she snapped at him, with the kind of sass that made him tumble headfirst into falling for her.

"Secondly, I have you know I'm still very much the 'rebel prankster trickster' that you speak of. Would I have broken into your locker otherwise?" she quips, and when Ben turns to look at her he sees a grin across her face. The two break into a tinkle of laughter, that rings through the fields they stroll through.  
"Touché," Ben replies.

A gust of wind travels from the narrow valley they're walking down and catches them right in the face. Beside him, Rey shivers in her worn blue hoodie, pulling it closer to her body.

"Cold?" Ben asks, and she nods, teeth chattering.  
"Left my jacket at school," she mumbles. Without a second thought, Ben lifts his black wool jumper over his head, turning it the right way out and handing it to Rey.

"Here, take it," Ben says, and before Rey can protest he's pushing it into her arms, walking on. He stops after a few strides and looks back, watching Rey as she shrugs off her hoodie and places it in her backpack. She's a distance away, but Ben's heart sinks at the sight of the purple-bruises and scabbed scratches across her arms.

Sickness and anger rise in his throat as his mind races. Who did this to her, to sweet, innocent Rey?! But before he can ask, she's pulled his jumper over her head and slipped her arms through the holes.

She walks up to him, the remnants of an ashamed blush on her face, and narrows her eyes, holding her arms up to reveal the comically long sleeves.  
"Why are your arms so freakishly long?" she wonders, and this time she's the one walking ahead before he can answer. It only takes him a couple of broad paces to catch up with her.

"R-Rey," Ben stammers, wondering how to ask her about the bruises "your arms--"  
"It's from the junkyard," Rey snips, and Ben's brows furrow in confusion "from collecting scrap metal."  
"Scrap… metal?" Ben stutters once more, wondering why she would be rooting around a junkyard for metal scraps in the first place.

"I live just beyond these hills here," Rey speaks over him, indicating towards the grassy rise she's pointed to when they first began their journey, except now they're much closer. Ben hums in reply, understanding that brusque words were an attempt to stop the conversation from progressing.

"So, uh, what's your family like? Do you have any siblings?" Ben asks, changing the topic. He can feel Rey has begun to close up. Though his jumper was warming her up, what she knew he saw had made her cold again.

Ben's arm twitches by his side as he refrains from pulling Rey into a hug. To stroke her hair, feel it between his fingers, as he kisses the top of her forehead and gives her a space to be vulnerable, in his arms. But no, he mustn't overstep her boundaries. He knows she must be so closed for a reason, and Ben respects that no matter what.

"No siblings," Rey replies tersely still, and Ben feels the heat creep up his cheeks.  
"Sorry if I'm overstepping my boundaries," he apologizes "I just want to get to know you more," his ears feel like they're on fire at the thought of upsetting Rey.

"Ben," she turns to look at him, hazel eyes gleaming in the disappearing sunlight, entrancing him "It's alright. You can ask anything you like. It's just…" she holds his gaze for a moment longer before letting go, and oh how he longs to be looking into her eyes again.

"I'm not used to… people… being so interested in me." she confesses, and her words send a stab of pain through his chest. Who in their right mind wouldn't want to learn everything there is to know about wonderful Rey?

"Well," Ben begins, bottom lip trembling as he musters the courage to say what he is about to "you'd better start getting used to it."  
The smile that spreads across her face is contagious, and Rey glances shyly at him as they walk along.

"I live alone," Rey tells Ben, her tone stoic "my parents, they're not around."  
Ben is speechless.

"I'm better off without them." She sounds so determined, but he can't help but feel a deep pain in his gut at the thought of Rey's home life. so many questions come to his mind. Why did her parents leave her? Where does she find the money to survive? Is that why she hunts scrap metal?

"When did you last see them?" Ben asks, his tone soft. Rey shrugs halfheartedly, clicking her tongue as she thinks.  
"To be honest, I can't remember. It must be some years now." her voice is thick, and when Ben looks over at her he sees her eyes glazed over with tears.

He can't help but reach out to her then, taking her small hand in his and squeezing it gently.

Rey is startled at first, but when she turns to him and he gives her a reassuring nod and the warmest smile he can muster, Ben sees her expression soften. The electricity that sparks between them hums to life, tingling in their palms like it has a life of its own. There's one thing in particular that stands out to Ben about clasping Rey's hand- how natural it feels.

"What about you?" she asks Ben as they continue to walk and talk "You live with Leia--I mean, your mom. Do you have any brothers or sisters?"  
"I'm an only child too," he replies, nodding "It's just my Mom and me right now."

Ben feels his throat constrict, as his mind thinks about the aspects of his life he hasn't spoken to anyone about. But walking beside Rey, his hand gently clasping hers, he longs to open up to her as she has to him.

"My dad, he's back in the states, but he was never around much anyway," Ben exhales as if the words were a weight on his chest.  
"How come?" Rey wonders.

"He's a trucker, hauling freight across the country. In between his job, and my Mom traveling for her art classes, we were always moving," Ben is surprised at how easy it is to get deeply personal with Rey. His eyes are wide, but when Rey gives his hand a reassuring squeeze, looking up at him with a promising smile, his expression softens.

"They tried making it work, but constantly switching schools took a toll on my education. So they sent me to Uncle Luke's boarding school. That's where I was until I moved here."  
"Principal Skywalker has a boarding school in America?" Rey gasps, eliciting a chuckle from Ben.

"Had. He passed it on and left it behind when he moved here a couple of years ago."  
"That's how you ended up at Naboo High? Because your Uncle moved here?" Rey wonders, trying to make sense of the influx of information. Ben nods.

"Yup. Twins can't stay apart for long, or so they say," he notes, laughing when Rey's jaw hangs open wide.  
"Leia and Luke are twins?!" She splutters.  
"They are twins," Ben confirms, chewing on his lip to hold back a smile.

He sees Rey's eyes as they trail down his face and the blossom of pink that spreads across her cheeks. Their eyes meet intensely, and Rey suddenly becomes interested in something across the way, snapping her head away from Ben to focus on the darkening fields.

"Sounds like you've had a pretty turbulent life, moving around a lot," Rey observes, her voice a little shaky. Ben brings a hand to his own lips, stroking them with his thumb as he speaks.  
"I suppose I have." Ben agrees with Rey, raising his eyebrows.  
"I've never really seen it that way. It felt like there was so much happening around me, and I was just being carried along. Like a raft drifting in the rapids."

"I can't imagine how that must have felt," Rey sighs almost dreamily as they begin to climb up a grassy knoll.  
"I was born here, I've lived here my whole life. I'll feel like I'll even..." she cuts her sentence short, clamping her jaw shut and tensing it. Ben has a feeling of what she was going to say: I feel like I'll even die here. 

They reach the top of the knoll, and from the heightened view Ben has a clear sight of where Rey lives.

Hundreds of trailers line up down makeshift dirt roads, tiny little things with corrugated roofs and walls. The spray-painted, rusted sign at the entrance reads 'Jakku Trailer Park'.

"Rey…" her name leaves his mouth of its own accord, as Ben looks out at the trailer park and the puzzle pieces of Rey's life begin to slot together in his mind.  
"Well, this is me." Rey murmurs, and he can hear the tears in her voice. 

Ben thinks of Rey's reputation at school of being defiant, spray painting the side of the buildings, playing harmless pranks, riling up Hux and his cat, using her lockpick skills to get into Ben's locker. It all seems like such minor reactions now, compared to how Rey has to live. Hunting for scrap metal to pay the bills to live in a broken-down trailer home, completely alone, abandoned by her parents, the two people in the world she should be able to rely on.

And despite all this, despite how much Rey must have been hurt, been let down by the ones closest to her, here she was. Opening up to Ben, sharing the personal parts of her life with him. A wave of pride washes over Ben at the thought of Rey's bravery and courage. It takes him by surprise, the rush of passion towards Rey.

This time Ben doesn't deny his urge to hold Rey close, grabbing her tiny frame in a bone-crushing hug. He wraps his arms around her, resting his cheek on the top of her head and squeezing his eyes shut, trying to send all the love in his heart for her at this moment.

"Thank you," Ben whispers into her hair. "For opening up to me. I understand how hard it is, and I want you to know I'm always here for you."

Rey wraps his arms around him then, clinging onto the back of his shirt and burying her face in his chest. He feels the wetness of her tears stain his shirt, and he doesn't mind one single bit. Silence lingers in the air for longer than Ben anticipates, and he feels Rey begin to squirm under the span of his broad arms.

"Can't… breathe…" He hears Rey's muffled voice from below and realizes he's been passionately squishing her face into his chest.  
"Oh gosh, I'm so sorry! I just--" he begins  
"Ben! It's fine. It was… nice." Rey gasps for air, but despite her bloodshot teary eyes, a smile is spread across her face. The mere sight of it is like sunbeams to his soul.

"You're not alone." Ben says, gazing at her in all her delicacy, beauty, and resilience.  
"Neither are you." she replies, her hazel eyes taking his heart for her own.

"See you in art class." Rey smiles, and with that, she heads off to her trailer, the long sleeves of his jumper swinging by her sides.

"See you then, my muse." Ben whispers to himself once Rey is out of earshot, turning back around and making the journey home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was SO cathartic to write oh my goodness. They've opened up to one another!! perhaps you saw already, but I've set the chapter count for this fic to 12, and i can also say that i have the ending planned out. perhaps it will extend by one chapter, but it certainly won't be shrinking. i'm sad to say the end is in sight for this fic <\3 but not yet! We still have at least 3 chapters left.


	10. opposites attract

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I… there are no excuses. this is a 5000 WORD CHAPTER. and this is actually one chapter that has been split into two. but as this story grows, it feels only natural to extend the word count for each chapter. i've wanted to have a super fluffy soft chapter in this fic for aaaages, and now its here! 5000 god damn words of it! really hope you like this. i had a lot of fun writing it <3
> 
> but i could NOT have written this without the immense help of Willow Drew (@willowdrew1989 on twitter). she offered to guide me with lesson plans a while back, and now ben and rey have started work on their pendants, i just had to take her up on the offer. and let me tell you, i've had a whole world i never knew laid out to me. the lengths she went to give me information, screenshots, anecdotes, and more is incredible!! thank you so so much Willow, i couldn't have written this chapter without you <333 go follow her and show her some reylo appreciation!

[ ](https://imgur.com/sVD8qES)

"Rey! Good to see you, it's been a while," Leia greets Rey with a smile and a wink as she enters the art studio after school. Rey wants to shy away at first, hide her face and bury her thoughts, but when she sees Ben sitting at his desk, turning her way to give her a toothy grin, the knots in her stomach ease.

"Hi Leia, good to see you too," Rey chirps, diving into her seat.  
"Hey, painting partner." Ben nods at Rey, and she nods back at him.  
"Well hello there." she replies, and he chuckles softly.

"How are you doing?" Ben asks her, his rich voice and soft gaze grounding her.  
"Not bad, thanks." Rey replies, and for once she truly means it. Yesterday was incredible. When she'd gotten home, body still humming at the thought of being pressed against Ben's, she'd leaped straight onto the couch and screamed into a pillow.

Not out of frustration, stress, or sadness as she usually does. It was out of overwhelming joy. Rey had never felt so cared for as she had that evening. He put his neck on the line to save her from getting suspended, didn't show an ounce of anger at Rey for breaking into his locker, and he'd even walked her all the way home.

The best part, however, was how her and Ben had bonded.

It was painful at first, to open up to him and show him her world. It had been so long since anyone had seen… Wait, had anyone ever seen the truth of her personal life? Did that mean Ben was the only one who truly knew her?

She glances over at him as he leans back in his chair, chatting casually with another student while Rey unpacks her pens and notebook onto her desk. Ben had a heart of gold, and it felt only natural to Rey to get personal with him. And when he had opened up too, sharing the turbulence of his childhood and lack of control he'd suffered, Rey was taken aback at how right it felt. Like it was meant to be.

He'd told her she wasn't alone, and she told him the same. Deep down, they both knew those words meant one thing: that now they have each other.

"You there, daydreamer?" Ben was waving a hand in front of Rey's face, drawing her out of her thoughts gently. She blinked a couple of times, greeted by the soft smirking lips and constellation of moles across Ben's face.  
"Sorry, spaced out," Rey shook her head.

"Well space back in spaceman, because today you and Ben will be starting your pendant paintings!" Leia piped up, leaning on Ben's desk to speak her next words only to the two of them.

"I hope you're feeling better after yesterday, Rey. I must say I'm overjoyed to have you here still," a heartwarming smile spread on Leia's face, and Rey bit her cheek to stop herself from welling up.  
"Thanks, Leia," she nodded wholeheartedly.

"Now, pendants! I'm sure you two will have a lot of fun when painting these," Leia gave a knowing smile, and Rey noticed Ben shuffle in his seat awkwardly. Rey had a feeling Leia was pretty attentive with these sorts of things and had probably noticed hers and Bens… affinity for one another.

"But first, you have to settle on what era to paint in. Sure, you can browse your smartphone devices and have an answer in five seconds flat… But if you want to put her heart and soul into this, to find an era you're really passionate about, you need to do more," Leia was focusing on Rey as she spoke, which didn't surprise her- Ben probably knew everything there was to these kinds of paintings.

Rey's skin tingled with both anticipation and nerves.

"I want you two to head to the library and do some research. Look through art books, history books, nature books, anything that takes your fancy. I'll see you back here in…" Leia glanced at her delicate gold wristwatch "half an hour." with a smile and scrunch of her nose, Leia stood up straight and went back to addressing the rest of the class.

"So," Ben began turning to look at Rey with his honeypot eyes.  
"Ready to figure out what the hell we wanna do?" Rey finished his sentence and they both laughed heartily, leaving their desks and heading to the library.

═════ ∘◦ ☽ ◦∘ ═════

The library was completely deserted at this hour, leaving Rey and Ben to browse the shelves freely. They silently headed to the art history section, not having spoken a word to each other since leaving class. Just basking in one another's company as they traversed the usually bustling corridors.

Rey could feel Ben's eyes on her, and she would be lying if she said she hadn't been shooting looks at him too. When they made their way to their desired bookshelf, a long, narrow section amid the rows and rows of dusty leather books, they finally laid eyes on each other like they'd been wanting to do all day.

Now they were alone, she was able to take a good look at him, drinking him in like she'd been wandering the desert for days. His eyes were pools of amber, bursting with a deeper olive color around the pupils, framed with thick lashes that he looked through and down at her with. 

Strands of dark hair framed his face, but she noticed it looked different than usual, less voluminous. It was then that she noticed three fuzzy braids running at the top of his skull, pinning his thick bangs to his head. Without all the hair in the way, his face was in full view, and Rey, well, she liked that a lot.

"Your hair looks nice today," Rey confessed, chewing her lip as she admired the braids. Ben's mouth parted in surprise, and he brought a large hand up to run through his hair. Once his fingers met the tangles of his braids, he let out a gasp.

"Damn, I forgot to take them out" Ben sighed, and reached to the tied ends to pull his hair loose.  
"Wait," Rey blurted, stepping on her tip-toes to place her hand over his, stopping him in his act.

When she felt a puff of breath land on her cheek Rey realized how close her face was to Ben's. Their eyes made fleeting contact, enough to ignite the desire she had for him, for her mind to scream at her to close the distance and press her lips to his. But her body betrayed her as she stepped back in embarrassment, putting space between them again.

"Don't take it out. It looks great. I can see your whole face now," she added, turning around and running her fingers along the books in the hopes that he didn't see her turn bright red.   
"Besides, it will be easier to paint without your hair in your eyes," Rey offered, trying to quell the burning embarrassment she'd put upon herself.

She sensed Ben standing completely still behind her, as if he didn't want to let the moment go. In an instant Rey regretted stepping away.

Maybe, just maybe, Rey thought to herself, he wanted me to kiss him? He had hugged her last night, held her close, and told her she wasn't alone. But Rey couldn't bring herself to believe that he really wanted her, or even saw her in that way.

She slipped a glance back at Ben now they were some distance apart, finding him with his nose in a frayed book with a long title beginning with 'Le Vite'. His lips were pouted as he read, but Rey sensed that it wasn't just from him concentrating. 

She had to stop doing this to herself, she thought. Stop taking steps back and letting her mind fill with what if's. It was there, in the dimly-lit library surrounded by volumes and volumes of art history, that Rey decided the next time she had the chance to kiss Ben Solo, that was exactly what she would do.

═════ ∘◦ ☽ ◦∘ ═════

"I think I found something." Ben murmurs, sliding the book he was reading over to Rey. They were sat at a circular table in one of the library nooks, with piles of books around them. They'd been searching for what felt like forever for a source of inspiration for their paintings, but everything was falling flat.

That was until Ben pushes 'Romanticism, Realism, Photography: Europe and America, 1800 to 1870' towards her.  
"Here, take a look at this," Ben urges, pointing to a particular painting. Billowing clouds swept over towering mountains, beneath a crystalline lake where dainty deer stood by the shore.

"Albert Bierstadt…" Rey utters, leaning in closer to admire the details of the artwork. The way the sun broke through the clouds was almost heavenly, and the towering snow-capped mountain peak blended in with the sky like a watchful guardian. When Rey looked at the painting, she felt comforted. Safe. The feeling reminded her of Ben's presence.

"This era," Rey speaks up, pressing a finger firmly to the page.  
"Romanticism?" Ben confirms, his lips twitching. Rey bit back a grin, nodding.  
"Yes. Let's paint a romantic painting."

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"Ben, Rey, just in time! I take it you found some inspiration?" Leia asks them as they enter the art studio. The room is alive with the chatter of the other students as they sit in pairs, working on their already-progressed paintings.  
"We sure did," Ben confirms, turning to Rey with a smile on his face, letting her speak.

"Romanticism. We're inspired by Bierstadt in particular." Rey explains, unable to contain the smile on her face. When Leia raises an eyebrow, nodding approvingly, Rey brings her hand to her mouth and her smile widens.

"Very impressive, Rey. You're a fast learner." Leia says, and Rey's not sure how to react to such high praise. It dawns on her that Leia is the first professor in this school to actually have faith in her, other than trying to not get her kicked out like Skywalker.

"Now you've got an era you want to paint in, I want you to both sit down and brainstorm," Leia nods, leaning against her desk and folding her arms.

"Think about your dream place. It can be somewhere you've been, or somewhere you want to go. Heck, it can even be an imaginary place,"   
Rey is apprehensive at first, having not seen much of the world beyond her little town in the UK.  
"Hold that image strong in your mind. Then, share it with each other. From there, think about how these two places are similar, how you could make them flow into one another."

"Try not to think too hard about it, just go with your heart. You are painting romanticism, after all," Leia remarks, and with that she's gone, tending to another student's needs at the other side of the class.

"So," Rey nods slowly, turning to Ben. He's got his sketchbook pulled out and he's already started sketching something - a jagged mountain peak, a rounded lake.  
"Oh," she exclaims, taking a moment to admire Ben's swift and delicate strokes of his pencil on the paper. Ben's head pops up at the sound of Rey's surprise, and he looks back at her with wide eyes.

"Sorry," he breathes, a subtle blush creeping up his ears "I got carried away."   
"No! Go ahead," Rey reassures "it's pretty awe-inspiring, actually." she mutters to herself, as Ben draws his attention to his sketch again.

As she watches Ben form the landscape of his dreams, Rey is reminded of a place she had always been amazed by. She had never visited it, only seeing it on the David Attenborough documentaries she watched. A somewhat plain landscape, endlessly rolling, with mountains of its own and something incredible rising from the barrenness.

The desert. More specifically, an oasis.

"You thought of somewhere?" Ben asks Rey, and when she turns to look at him she sees he's leaning back in his chair again, the finished sketch laying on his desk.  
"Mhm," she nods, but her eyes are drawn to his notebook "you first."

Ben takes his book in one hand, leaning across his desk to give Rey a closer look. She leans into him, his bicep brushing against her arm, sending goose pimples prickling on her skin.   
"Uh, I--" he stammers, and Rey knows it's from their light skin-to-skin contact.

"A snowy mountain, huh?" Rey asks, suppressing a giggle at Ben's reaction to their closeness. The fact that he could pull her into a spontaneous hug but became bashful at their arms brushing was so endearing to Rey.  
"Y-yes," he begins, still stammering, but he clears his throat and deepens his voice and tries again.

"It's Mt Rainier, a mountain in Washington state. We lived nearby for a few years. My parents and I would go hiking there sometimes."  
Rey's mouth opens in shock at how personal this place was to Ben. Knowing how difficult things were for him growing up, always on the move, never staying in one place, put into perspective how solidified this place must be in Ben's heart.

"It's a beautiful place in summer. Grassy fields, and flowers. But in the winter, when the ground is covered with snow and everything is still, that's my favorite place."

Rey reaches out at the sketch, tracing a finger along the bottom section of the page, outlining a tranquil body of water.  
"And this?" she asked.  
"That's Tipsoo lake. A tiny thing, really. More like a pond." Ben chuckles, closing his sketchbook and placing it on his desk. He turns his body in his chair, long leg coming up to cross over the top of the other.

"What's your favorite place to be, Rey?"  
Rey biest her lip. She loves it when he says her name like that. All soft, staring at her and only her. Like she was the only thing in the world. The only thing that mattered.

"Well, I haven't been to this place," Rey begins.  
"That's alright, remember what m-- Leia said." Ben soothes, catching himself before he slips up in saying mom. He brings a hand to his mouth, and Rey and he smile at each other like it's their little secret.

"So I watch a lot of documentaries. I love that guy with the calming voice, David Attenborough, you know him? There was one episode I was watching about deserts."  
"Deserts?" Ben raises an eyebrow, intrigued.

"Yep, and all the creatures that live in the deserts across the world. But then he started talking about the oasis, and how the flora and fauna flourish around these rare bodies of water dotted throughout the sand."  
"Sounds beautiful," Ben breathes his words in a way that makes Rey want to squirm. His gaze was like the summer sun. She nods shyly.

"It really is. How nature thrives under the harshest conditions, creating something so beautiful out of something so harsh, so rough," Rey blurts, sucking in a breath when she realizes she's getting carried away. But Ben is listening so intently, eagerly awaiting for her to go on, and she's reminded that she can be herself around him. She continues to speak.

"Like a dandelion breaking through the cracks in the pavement. Stubborn things, they are. But they always reach for the light, no matter how dark the circumstances." Rey finishes, bringing her hands to her face in part to hide the pink of her cheeks.

"And like you." Ben says, his voice barely a whisper. Rey isn't quite sure she heard correctly at first, but when she locks eyes with him, she knows she heard right. She gives him a teary-eyed smile in return.

"A desert oasis and a wintry lakeside mountain…" Rey sighs, shaking her head in disbelief.  
"We couldn't have chosen such opposites even if we'd tried." Ben chuckles, and Rey laughs along with him.  
"We can make this work, we just have to think outside the box. What do those two places have in common?"

Rey twiddles her thumbs, thinking hard. Ben opens his sketchbook again, flicking through the pages. Rey eyes the drawings that flash by, faces, landscapes, and absent-minded doodles.   
"Water," Ben speaks up, and Rey nods.  
"Right. The lake in your drawing is pretty small. So are oasis." Rey adds, and already their pendants begin to take shape.

"The curve of the mountain," Ben traces the roughly-drawn summit, "it's like the--"  
"curves of a sand dune." they both say simultaneously, and matching grins appear on their faces.  
"We're almost there," Rey encourages "there's just… something missing."

"The sky. It has to look the same, to flow into one another." Ben furrows his brow, thinking deeply about what the sky should look like. Rey can't help but stare, silently counting the moles that dot his face as if they'll give her the answer. Like wishing on a shooting star.

"Nighttime," Rey exclaims "the stars are the same wherever you are in the world."

One look, that's all it takes. Ben and Rey's eyes meet again and they know. They have the foundation for their pendants. 

═════ ∘◦ ☽ ◦∘ ═════

"Now," Leia claps her hands together in glee "you're almost onto painting!"  
Rey drums her fingers against the desk in excitement. Ever since her first time painting in Leia's class, she'd been eager to pick up the brushes again.

"But first, Rey, you'll need to learn some theory. A project like this requires a sound knowledge of such things."  
Rey's stomach churns at the thought of learning 'theory'. The mere word brought her to sitting in science class, dozing off to the droning sound of Professor Windu talking about Midi-chlorians.

"Then, the painting can begin. Ben, I trust you can take it from here," Leia speaks to her son, and he nods curtly in response.  
"Oh, and you'll be using oil paint, so prepare the canvas as necessary." she confirms, smiling as Ben says "yup". His voice is monotonous, and Rey can tell he is trying to play it cool. He was trying hard to not show that the art class teacher was, in fact, his mother.

"Call me over if you need anything" Leia chirps, and with that, she is gone once more.  
"So, Ben Ross," Rey smirks, eliciting a snort from Ben.  
"Be my teacher."

Ben taps his chin for a moment in thought, until he reaches into his bag and pulls out a large hardback titled 'Interaction of color'.  
"First, let's start with the basics," Ben insists, and he drags their desks together so there is no space between them.

Ben begins to teach Rey of the elements and principles of design, starting with the fundamentals of visual elements, such as shapes, light, and value. He draws examples as he talks, serving Rey a visual guide to his words, though she is already attentive enough just listening to his rich voice.

He offers Rey his pencil sometimes, encouraging her to get practical. When she can't quite get it right, he is there to help her, his enormous hand engulfing hers as he guides her pencil strokes along with the page. The breath hitches in her throat every time he goes to help her.

Next, Ben teaches Rey about unity and variety, and creating balance in a painting. As their paintings are pendants, Ben suggests that symmetrical balance is important to convey the flowing nature of the art, as opposed to asymmetrical or imbalance. Rey agrees, astounded by the technicality and intricacy of painting that she is only just discovering.

They then move onto creating space, which is vital for their pendants as they wish to convey distance between the oasis-lake and the desert dune-mountain. This part fascinates Rey the most, how a few simple lines drawn in the right way can make the drawing seem like it's leaping out of the page. 

Rey squeals with delight when she draws a simple corridor composed of two rectangles connected by diagonal lines, and a beam breaks on Ben's face.  
"I'm glad you're enjoying the theory side to art," Ben says to her "personally, I don't have the patience for it. I just want to dig in. But to create skillful art, it's a must-know."

"I was nervous at first," Rey confesses, "I thought it'd be like Windu's biology rants. But this," Rey gestures to their conjoined desks, which is now scattered with scraps of sketched-on paper, some crumpled, some written on, but all filled.  
"This is incredible."

Lastly, Rey learns about color theory. This fascinates her the most, as Ben turns to the book he'd pulled out earlier and shows her the color wheels. Primary, secondary, intermediate, complimentary, the list goes on. On top of everything he'd taught her before, Rey feels like a whole new part of art has been unlocked in her mind.

All thanks to Ben's patient teaching.

"Good job, young padawan," Ben speaks with a straight face, bowing towards Rey. She can't help but giggle at his mention of Galaxy Wars.  
"Nerd." she jokes, poking him playfully in the ribs with her elbow.  
"Says the one who understood the reference." he jabs back, and Rey sticks her tongue out in response.

"What now?" she asks once they'd settled down. Ben looks down at the cluttered desk, raising his eyebrows and exhaling heavily.  
"We get this cleaned up, grab our materials, and we begin painting."

═════ ∘◦ ☽ ◦∘ ═════

The supply closet was a tight squeeze- Rey knew this from the last time she was in here with Ben, encased between the shelves and his body. But Rey didn't mind that one bit.

He reached for the easel stands before she asked this time, taking them in his arms while he explained what equipment they would need this time. They would need a couple of paints to mix the base with, and charcoal to outline with. But most importantly, they would need Gesso, a primer, to ensure the acidity of the oil paint didn't damage the canvas.

As Ben began to head out of the supply closet and back to their desks, she was tempted to pull him back in again. Take her chance, steal that kiss she longed for. But with everyone on the other side of the door, with Ben's mom there, it didn't feel right. Rey cursed her hormones for being so impatient as she followed Ben back to their desks.

Now their tables were pressed together, it meant that they sat much closer to each other. The rest of the class was doing the same, painting away in pairs, but none of them were quite the size of Ben. A 6'3" hulking mass of pure muscle. Even buffing the primed canvas made his biceps flex. Delicious, Rey thinks, promptly shoving the hormonal thought to the back of her mind.

"Here comes the fun part," Ben says to Rey, handing her a stick of charcoal.  
"We have to sketch an outline before we start painting. Have you used charcoal before?" his eyes were drawn to hers, looking down at her as she sat close to his side. She shakes her head, craning her neck to look up at him. Even when seated, he was almost a whole head taller.

"Careful, it can get messy," he warns with a lopsided smile and begins sketching the outline of his painting.  
Rey follows his lead, watching as he crafts gentle, swift strokes across the primed canvas. The half of his lake was beginning to take shape, long and oval, spanning most of the painting, and Rey mimics his design, leaving space for the oasis plants she intends to fill in later.

An issue that Rey soon notices about their seating arrangement is that Ben is left-handed. Whenever they reached the edge of their canvas at the same time, their hands would bump into each other, fingers brushing as they skimmed the outer corners.

They would apologize at first, Rey feeling her cheeks burn and betting that Ben's ears were on fire too, but soon they became used to the touches, and Rey even had a sense that Ben was focusing on that part of the canvas more than necessary, just for the chance it would happen again.

They'd finished their charcoal sketches as the rest of the class piled out of the studio, with the allotted time of the classes being up. But Ben and Rey were so close to finishing, they decided it was worth staying behind a little later. Leia left the studio once the other students were gone, mentioning something about speaking to another professor. Ben and Rey sat completely alone, dusk settling in the sky, the bright lights of the art studio illuminating them and their works in progress.

"Only the peak left, now," Ben sighs, scratching his ear as he admires their handiwork.  
"Let's do it at the same time! Ready?" Rey says eagerly, positioning her charcoal at the base of the sand dune.  
"Let's do that!" Ben agrees with a sparkle in his voice, placing his charcoal at the mountain base. Together, they draw their charcoal sticks upwards, swooping, and conjoining in one peak where their canvases meet.

Ben's hand lays over Rey's, and Rey's under Ben's. The breath hitches in her throat as he brings his fingers down to meet hers, intertwining on the canvas. Rey exhales, leaning into Ben's shoulder. 

The studio door opens suddenly, drawing them away from each other as if they'd been scalded.

"Still at it?" Leia asks, peering her head around the doorway.  
"We need to do the underpainting," Ben mumbles, his eyes not meeting his mom's.  
"Alright, I'll leave you to it." with a click of the door, they are alone again.

Rey gulps, looking back at the large glass panel in the studio door. She'd seen, Rey thought. Leia had definitely seen them holding hands. She hoped that wouldn't cause as much embarrassment for Ben as he seemed to think it would.

But there was no time to worry about that now, as they had a painting base to finish. Ben hands Rey a paintbrush, placing a small glass palette with blobs of burnt umber and white paint in between them, and a pot of water to dip their brushes in. Rey turns to him to comment on what a great job he's doing as a mentor but is instead surprised by a smudge of black across his prominent ear.

"Oh, Ben!" Rey gasps, pointing "You have charcoal on your ear."  
Ben reaches up, brushing his fingers with the black substance and looking at it on his fingers. With a smirk, he brings the stained fingers to Rey's face, dabbing her on the nose.  
"There, now we're matching." he chuckles, and Rey rolls her eyes, trying to contain her smile with a playful scowl.

═════ ∘◦ ☽ ◦∘ ═════

"And we… are… done." Ben sighs, as he and Rey take one final brushstroke of the underpainting on the canvas. They place their brushes down simultaneously. By now it's getting pretty late, the sun having all but left the sky.   
"We did it," Rey says, almost in disbelief. Though they lack colors, it's clear to see the way her's and Ben's paintings meld into each other- the matching oval lakes, the conjoined peaks, the twinkling sky, the flora and fauna that hugs the water.

"The first part, at least," Ben adds, and Rey is reminded of the process yet to come.  
"Can't wait." she murmurs, her foot sliding over to teasingly kick Ben's.  
"We have to wait a few days for the underpainting to dry first. Then we can begin." Ben explains, prodding her foot back, and the studio door opens again.

"What a sight!" Leia cries aloud, her arms outstretched as she walks towards Rey and Ben.  
"My two favorite students are making progress with their pendants."

"Mom…" Ben groans and Rey can't help but giggle. He eases up at the sound of her laughter, a reluctant smile breaking across his face as he looks at her.

"How was it, Rey? Did you enjoy the process?" Leia asks as she bends down to admire Rey's canvas.  
"It was wonderful! Ben is a really good teacher." She beams.  
Good job, Ben. You take after your Mother." Leia says with a wink, teasing her son. This time Ben smiles, seeming a little less awkward.

"We best be off home, Benjamin… But first, Rey, I'd like to speak to you about something." Leia nods, her tone switching from banter to more serious. Rey's mouth pops open, forming an 'o'. Beside her, Ben stares at his mom, an eyebrow raised.  
"In private. If you don't mind, son." Leia nods at Ben to leave, and reluctantly he gets up from his chair, grabbing his backpack and leaving the studio.

Once Rey and Leia are alone, Leia's tone shifts again, her face softening as she lays a hand on Rey's arm.  
"Rey, I wanted to thank you," Leia confesses, her voice light yet words meaningful.  
"Thank me? W-why?" Rey parrots with a strained tone. A warm smile spreads across Leia's face at Rey's naivety.

"Yes, thank you. Did you think you were in trouble? Whatever for?" Leia shakes her said, emitting a breathy laugh.  
"Ben told me that you found out that I'm Ben's mom. But have you judged him for it, or even told anyone? From what Ben says, no. In fact, you've been a good friend to him. That's why I wanted to say thanks." Rey feels a sense of relief and gratitude wash over her at Leia's words.

"Perhaps Ben's already told you, but we've been on the move for a while. It's hard to make friends when you're always having to say goodbye. That's why we thought, this time, it would be best if people didn't know that Ben and I were related. I guess that worked for the most part, until you figure out." Leia has a twinkle in her eyes as she speaks.

"So, thank you. Ben's life is a lot better with you in it. That, I can see." Leia finishes, folding her arms across her chest. Usually, this kind of attention makes Rey wish the ground would open up and swallow her whole. But the kind eyes of Leia Organa comfort Rey, making her feel accepted. 

A silence falls over the two, and Rey has the urge to speak up.

"I-- I'm not sure what to say," Rey confesses, bringing a hand to her face to gnaw at a hangnail.  
"You don't have to say anything, sweetie. Just keep being you." Leia nods, and a grin spreads across Rey's face. Leia truly was the best professor, and adult figure,, she'd ever had in her life.

"Anyway, I won't keep you longer," Leia starts to stroll away to the studio door to leave, but stops in her tracks, overcome by thought.  
"Actually, I was thinking..." She looks back to Rey, who stops packing her backpack to look over at Leia.

"Would you fancy coming over for dinner sometime? It's only fair after you've spent your evening here. I'm sure Ben would love to have you, and you could work on your pendants together." Leia asks, voice hopeful.

Rey subtly reaches for her arm, pinching herself to check that she isn't dreaming. Today had felt like it was too good to be true, and now on top of it she's being invited for dinner?!

"Does tomorrow work?" Leia speaks up again  
"That would be amazing," Rey replies, unable to contain her excitement.  
"I'd love to come over for dinner tomorrow!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really hope you liked that and it wasn't too much in one go!! thank you all so much for reading and commenting and being awesome <333


	11. closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're my muse." Ben says.
> 
> It's one of those moments where life doesn't feel real, Rey thinks to herself. The late-night breeze slips through the cracked open windows, dancing strands of hair about her face. The scent of dewed-grass and the woody floral scents of Ben's cologne fill her senses. 
> 
> The sounds of the countryside whisking by, as they speed down the empty highway. And the sight of Ben Solo, in all his softness and sweetness and tallness, sitting right beside her.
> 
> It's all too much for Rey. Her heart feels so full of gratitude, of love. She vows to herself right then to share that love every day with Ben.
> 
> Rey has never felt happier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter made me so happy to write. not only was it nice to have a change of scenery, but it's what happens in the chapter that makes me so happy! it. finally. happened. IT ONLY TOOK THEM 11 DAMN CHAPTERS. have i spoiled it? i really hope it was worth the wait!
> 
> if you want a visual of ben and leia's home, check out the pics of jean and otis' house from sex education below. as this fic is a semi-au of the series, it felt only natural for the solo-organas to live there. and i mean, isn't it absolutely gorgeous? theres also a bonus pic of how i envision leia's studio to look.

[ ](https://imgur.com/BoBVOLs)

It was the next day, and Rey was sitting in Professor Yoda's late morning history class, deep in her thoughts. 

Her stomach flutters with excitement over the dinner tonight at the Solo-Organa house. A chance for her to be closer to Ben than ever before. A moment to  _ finally  _ press her lips against his.

"She's doing it again, look! Smiling to herself. You there, dummy?"

A hand waving in front of Rey's face breaks her from her daydream. 

"What has gotten into you, peanut?" Finn asks as she shakes his head, while Rose chuckles from beside him.

"She's lovestruck!" Rose teases, raising her voice. 

"Shh! I am not!" Rey looks around the classroom in alarm, checking for the third time in the past hour if Ben is in the room. She confirms once again that he's not, but the relief feels all the same.

"Okay," Rey sighs "maybe I am a little bit," she admits.

"If you don't tell us who you're so head over heels for, I swear I'll--" Rose's playful threat is cut off by the lunch bell ringing shrilly throughout the halls, and everyone gets up from their seats and scrambles out the classroom before Professor Yoda can remind them about the assigned homework.

"Don't try and blackmail me into telling Rose," Rey warns as she and her friends head outside to the grassy grounds to eat their lunch. The weather was warm today, a rare occurrence for the usually chilly UK, so they were making the most of it.

"Besides, don't you have an unrequited crush of your own?" she adds, unable to contain her laughter as Rose begins stumbling over her words. Finn begins to laugh too, but Rey is quick to stop him.

"You too, peanut brain. You both know what I'm talking about!"

The trio comes to their regular grassy sitting spot, underneath a large leafy oak tree in the corner of the field, and lay down in the grass, pulling out their lunches. Rey sits to the side, while Finn and Rose sit next to each other.

"Okay, I'll make a deal with you guys." Rey challenges, pointing at Rose and Finn with her meager sandwich.

"If I tell you who it is that I can't stop thinking about, you two have to confess your unrequited crushes for one another."

"WHAT?!" Rose and Finn screech simultaneously, glancing over to each other and then looking swiftly in the opposite direction. Rey laughs so hard she snorts.

"Puh-lease. I practically did it for you! Now, say it to each other." Rey orders, taking a chomp of her lunch.

"Rey, I will never let you live this down," Finn says through gritted teeth. Rose is sitting there with a face the color of the tomatoes in Rey's sandwich.

Rey gives Rose a little nudge, and she looks up at Rey with wide eyes.

"Okay, fine…" Rose rolls her eyes, composing herself before she looks at Finn. He also looks up, and their eyes meet.

"Finn," Rose breathes

"Rose," he replies, his voice strained but soft.

Rey looks in between the both of them, anticipating who will be the first to confess. But the confession doesn't come.

Instead, they both lean towards each other, pulling in for a kiss.

"Oh--!" Rey exclaims, but slaps a hand over her mouth, not wanting to disturb her friends. _ It finally happened, _ she thinks to herself and lets out a small chuckle. After months of hearing her two friends go on and on about their love for one another, they were finally admitting it.

Rey was undoubtedly happy. But something small inside of her hurt too, at the sight of not having what they had, and longing that it would come true tonight.

"Uh, guys? Point proven…" Rey called out to Rose and Finn, who were still smooching. Rey repressed a gag as their kiss deepened; they were cute, but it wasn't pleasant to witness her two best friends eat each others' faces.

Rey turns away, facing towards the gravel path that spanned the perimeter of the school grounds. And who else could have been walking down it at that exact moment but Ben Solo himself?

He spots Rey looking in his direction, and lifts his arm to wave a huge hand at her. She waves back, a smile breaking out on her face as she stands up.

"Afternoon," Rey chirps, squinting in the afternoon sun as she looks up at him. His dark hair shines in the midday sun, glossy, smooth, and so tempting to touch.

"How's it going?" Ben asks, and his eyes flit behind Rey. His eyebrows raise in surprise.

"Oh, I didn't know your friends were together?" Ben quips, pointing at the interlocked Rose and Finn. Rey turns to look at them, noticing that they were finally breaking apart from their snog-session.

"They're not. I just made them confess their love for each other." Rey shrugs as if it's a completely normal thing. Ben laughs heartily at Rey's words, and the somersaulting butterflies in Rey's stomach awaken again.

"Rey?!" Rose calls, getting her attention. She swivels around on her heel, a strained smile on her face. Rose's eyes go past Rey to look at the giant redwood of a man standing behind her, and she smirks menacingly.

"You're Ben Solo, right? You moved here not too long ago." Rose notes. Ben nods back at her.

"That's me," he confirms, and Rey bites her lip at the sound of his deep voice from behind her. Rose and Finn exchange knowing looks, and Rose sighs sweetly, focusing back on Rey.

"So, Rey. Are you going to hold up your end of the deal?" she asks, tilting her head to one side.

Oh, no. NO. Not like  _ this _ . Her friends knew exactly what they were doing, and judging by their matching grins, they were enjoying themselves thoroughly.

"Deal?" Ben murmurs from behind her, confused.

"We made a deal to confess who our one true love is," Finn says in a sing-song voice.

"Rose and I just confessed ours, in case it's not obvious," he adds, as Rose giggles from beside him.

"Which means it's your turn, Rey!" Rose announces, and Rey's fight or flight instincts kick in instantaneously.

"Go on! Tell us, or will we have to say it out loud too? It's--"

Before she can finish her sentence, Rey has run over to her friends, leaping into their laps and shoving her hands over their mouths.

"Don't mind them! They don't know what they're on about," Rey chuckles nervously as her friends try to pull her hand out the way.

"Oh-- okay," Ben stammers, looking thoroughly confused. Rey notices the tips of his ears turn pink, and her stomach starts doing somersaults for a whole other reason.

_ He's going to find out!  _ She screams in her mind.  _ But not like this! _

Thankfully Ben is just as embarrassed as Rey by the situation, backing off slowly as he mumbles something about meeting with some people for a lunchtime study session.

Once he's out of earshot Rey relaxes, removing her hands and letting out a groaning exhale.

"Peanut, darling," Finn cooes, as Rose strokes a strand of hair out of her face.

"It's him, isn't it? You're mad for him. I can tell."

Rey doesn't need to answer, for it wasn't a question. But she nods all the same, sighing as she rolls off her friends and onto the grass.

"I'm going around his house tonight," she speaks, her voice muffled as her face presses into the ground.

"And I don't think I'll be able to stop myself from snogging him," she admits, causing her friends to break out in a flurry of giggles.

═════ ∘◦ ☽ ◦∘ ═════

"Ready to go?" Ben taps Rey on the shoulder as she stands by her locker, spending far too much time organizing her books than is necessary.

"Yep!" Rey squeaks, bringing a hand to her mouth as Ben smiles warmly down at her.

"You don't need to be nervous, my mom loves you," he reassures her. Rey nods, but that's not the reason she's nervous at all, and she has an inkling Ben thinks so too.

"She'll be waiting in the parking lot," Ben says, and his fingers ever so delicately brush against Rey's, so lightly that she can't be sure if it was an accident or on purpose. Either way it leaves Rey wanting more, as they walk through the deserted corridors to the front of the school building where Leia is parked.

The only car in the parking lot is a bright blue vintage VW Beetle, and Rey knows instantly that it must be Leia's. Only something so cool and outlandish could be owned by the quirky art teacher of Naboo High.

Rey's mouth pops open as Ben pulls back the front seat, motioning for her to sit in the back. 

"I would give you the front seat, but..." he mumbles, face turning a little pink.

"But you probably couldn't fit your little toe back here." she smiles, giggling when Ben's face turns even pinker.

She takes a seat on the soft plush seating, sinking back into it and taking in the beautiful aged car. 

"I don't know about you guys, but I'm starving! How do black-bean enchiladas sound?" Leia asks them, slipping her cat-eye sunglasses on and pulling out from the parking lot.

"Sounds great, mom," Ben's voice is cheerful.

"Yeah, delicious," Rey adds, sounding a little breathless. Ben turns to look at her, scrunching his nose as he smiles.

"Like the car?" he asks, and all Rey can do is nod, eyes wide.

The journey home goes by fast, as Leia, Rey, and Ben chat about school, art, and life. They drive through country roads and leafy lanes, the rolling fields passing them by as they whizz around in the old car. At some point in the journey Ben rolls down the window, sticking out his hand and waving it up and down in the warm breeze.

Rey rests her head on the window, taking in the delightful evening air, and from her angle she can see Ben's face, slightly smiling as he nods along to his mom's talk about the first spiritual art classes she hosted in Portland back in the 90s. 

She admires the way his hair blows in the wind, the way he squints his eyes at the setting sun. And then he looks back to her, to Rey, and his smile widens. There's something about the moment, the calmness of it all, that means the usual butterflies and nerves that Rey gets when Ben looks at her don't come. She's left instead with the feeling of comfort, contentedness.

Rey smiles back, holding Ben's gaze unabashedly.

═════ ∘◦ ☽ ◦∘ ═════

After a relatively short drive, Leia pulls into a winding gravel road that reaches a dead end, where she stops and parks. Rey peers between Leia and Ben to see a lush forested valley, with a twisting river running through it into the horizon, where the sun lays low. The breath hitches in Rey's throat at the incredible view.

"Home sweet home," Leia chirps as they exit the car and begin walking down the cobbled steps to the house. Rey's eyes fall on the New-England style home below them, painted a deep red with white beams and panels, and it's like Rey forgets how to  _ breathe _ . 

She thinks back to the trailer park, no more than a dozen miles away, all run-down and dirt paths, and she finds it hard to believe she's in the same world right now. And best of all,  _ Ben lives here _ .

They enter the home, and Rey's eyes are everywhere, taking it all in. It's a cozy mish-mash of clutter that warms Rey's heart. Rustic floorboards and flowery wallpaper, Persian rugs and patterned sofas, squishy armchairs, and an abundance of paintings hanging on the wall. Rey squints at one, noticing the initials 'B.S', and she's certain that Ben Solo was the one who painted it.

"Your house is absolutely wonderful." Rey enthuses, running her fingers along a Maneki-Neko with a worn-looking head, from all the good luck pats it's gotten as people leave and enter the house.

"Oh, it's an absolute mess my dear," Leia huffs, kicking a pair of Ben's giant boots out the way to squeeze through the entryway into the living room.

"But it's our mess, and we love it for what it is," she gives Ben a kind smile, and he returns the gesture. Rey smiles, thinking about how nice it is to see them like this. Usually Ben is so tense at school, but now he was away and didn't have to worry about what other people thought, he was his relaxed self.

"I'll start cooking dinner- Ben, why don't you show Rey around the house?" Leia suggests, heading to the kitchen and opening the fridge. Rey tears her eyes from the vibrant surroundings to look up at Ben, finding him staring intently at her as he runs a hand through his hair.

"Uh, so here's the living room…"

Ben takes Rey around the rest of the house, guiding her through the hallways and doors of each cozily cluttered room. The place is alive with plants dotted about, hanging from the ceiling, placed on tables and in the corners of rooms. It reminds Rey of the Resistance Cafe, where she first admitted to her friends that she had a crush on someone.

And now they knew that someone was Ben. And now she was in his house, and he was showing her around, and when they got to his bedroom, she was going to kiss him.  _ Breathe _ , she thought to herself, glancing at Ben to solidify the moment in her mind.

Ben was pointing to the artwork in each of the rooms, various paintings, sculptures, pottery, and giving Rey a short story about where each of it came from. An earthenware pot holding a flourishing monstera, crafted by Leia during an artist's trip to Morocco. An opulent painting bought from a Swiss auction for a steal- later found to be a genuine painting of the renaissance period.

Each corner of their home was alive with personality, history, with  _ life _ . Rey was both amazed and saddened by the sight of it, realizing how much she was missing out on. But she tried to keep a smile on her face for the times Ben's eyes flit towards her. She didn't want him to think she thought ill of his home in any way.

Seeing Ben and Leia's home had made Rey realize the gaping home-sized hole that was in Rey's heart.

"You're going to like this room the most…" Ben turns to Rey to speak, but his words trailed into silence as he noticed the solemn look on Rey's face

"How are you doing?" Ben asks her, leaning down slightly so his face was closer to hers. Rey looks at Ben through her lashes, but the words wouldn't come. Sighing deeply, Ben's fingers reach for Rey's, brushing them ever so gently, as he speaks soothingly to her.

"If at any point you feel overwhelmed, you don't have to feel pressure to stay. Just give me the word and I can drive you back," he reassures and Rey nods, biting her lip to hold back her emotions. Her mind wonders how she ever managed to meet someone so thoughtful and kind as Ben.

"Good," Ben smiles sympathetically, taking Rey's hand with two fingers and a thumb and giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Now, as I was saying, I think you'll love this room." Ben's smile brings Rey back to the here and now. He opens the door and steps to one side, allowing Rey to take in the room fully.

And god, is Rey blown away.

The room itself is an extension of the house, a glass conservatory with windows all around that reach up to the second floor, allowing the hazy sun to shine into every corner of the long strip of a room. But it's what's in the room that astounds Rey.

Easels and stools, cupboards overflowing with pens, pencils, and paintbrushes. Brightly stained palettes and piles of acrylic paint tubes scatter the various desks and workstations. In the middle is a huge table with art supplies scattered across it, leaving space for a few large sheets of paper with work in progress sketches and paintings on it.

"This is our art studio," Ben says, his eyes firmly admiring Rey's reaction. Her mouth is wide open, eyes the size of saucers, and she can't help but run her hands over everything, touching the endless amounts of knick-knacks that fill the studio space.

"Put's Naboo's studio to shame," Rey manages to utter, and Ben breaks out into laughter as he leans against one of the desks.

"We should work on our pendants here this weekend. You know, when the underpaint dries." Ben suggests, and Rey's eyes lit up. She nods eagerly.

"Ben, Rey, dinner!" Leia calls from inside the house, and at that precise moment, Rey's stomach rumbles loudly.

"It's definitely time to eat." Ben teases, and the two head to the dining room, Rey thumping Ben on the arm playfully at his joke.

═════ ∘◦ ☽ ◦∘ ═════

"Did Ben show you around, then?" Leia asks as they tuck into their enchiladas.

"Mmmf," Rey nods, her mouth filled with food. "Sorry," Rey apologizes, dabbing her mouth with the napkin "It's not often I eat with others," she blurts, instantly regretting how lonely she'd made herself sound.

Leia nods understandingly, the action comforting Rey somewhat, and silence fills the table.

"I have a question about your family, if you don't mind?" Rey breaks the silence, looking between Ben and Leia. Ben looks up from his food, gazing softly at Rey.

"Of course, go ahead," he replies.

"So, um…" Rey stammers, unsure of how she can word her question without coming off as brash "not to be rude, but why does everyone in your family have a different last name?"

A chuckle escapes Ben's lips, while Leia laughs, waving her fork around.

"Not rude at all sweetie, we're an odd bunch!" Leia exclaims and places her cutlery down to give the question her full attention.

"You see, when I married Ben's father, Han, I never took his name," Leia admits, while Rey listens intently.

"But when Ben came along, we decided to put both names together," Rey was a little confused at Leia's words-- does that mean Ben Solo was actually Ben Organa-Solo?

"That proved quite a mouthful, naturally, and especially as we moved to the area and Ben started at Naboo High, we thought it'd be best if he just stuck to Solo." Leia nodded firmly.

"Aha," Rey said, as things came together. But there was still the question of Principal Skywalker's name.

"Now, I bet you're wondering why my brother Luke and I have different last names," Leia added as if she'd just read Rey's mind.

"Luke and I were separated at birth- taken from our biological father after our mother passed away, and kept apart for nearly twenty years."

Rey's face fell at Leia's words.

"I'm sorry to hear that," Rey offered, but Leia smiled back at her kindly.

"It was a long time ago, you needn't worry about it," she reassured her.

"Where was I? Ah, yes. Luke was sent to our biological aunt and uncle, keeping our bio father's last name: Skywalker. I was adopted into the Organa family, and have kept that name ever since."

It was a bit much for Rey to take in, but by the end of Leia's explanation, she was sure she had a grasp of it all.

Leia picked up her cutlery again, taking a bite of her meal. She then inhaled sharply as if a thought just came to her, pointing her fork at Rey as she spoke.

"And if we're getting technical, my mother didn't take my father's name when they married, so Luke and I are Amidala-Skywalkers. That would make Ben a… Solo-Organa-Amidala-Skywalker." 

The table fell into hearty laughter, as they threw their heads back and guffawed over the absurd length of Ben's true last name. The rest of the dinner was eaten with lively conversation and the endearing, embarrassing childhood stories that come from first eating dinner with your crushes mom.

═════ ∘◦ ☽ ◦∘ ═════

"Sorry for the mess," Ben mutters as he opens the door to his room, scurrying in to pile some dirty laundry into a hamper, and clear his desk of school books and scattered papers.

"Hey, you've seen where I live,  _ that's  _ the true meaning of mess," Rey jokes, thinking back to the piles of trash and broken vehicles that could be found near where she lived. A small smile appeared on Ben's face, but he seemed to not find it as funny as Rey intended.

"Make yourself at home," Ben offers, indicating to the soft-looking bed piled with blankets and pillows.

"I'll only be a second."

Rey sinks onto the bed, leaning back on her elbows as she admires Ben's bedroom.

As Ben's room is on the top floor, the ceiling is slanted, meaning that Ben has to crouch down when he's near the corners of the room. The slanted ceiling is painted deep forest green, complementing the rustic wooden panels and flooring of the room. 

Various posters and paintings are tacked up on Ben's walls, and little trinkets lay on the wooden surfaces of the room. It gives Rey the feeling of being inside a log cabin in the fall, and she imagines herself wrapped in Ben's cozy quilted blankets, a steaming mug of tea in one hand as her other holds Ben's.

Ben sighs, collapsing onto the bed next to her, snapping her out of her thoughts. He lays down sideways on the bed, adjacent to Rey, looking up at her with his warm olive-hazel eyes.

Rey is suddenly overcome with nerves, knowing that she can't break the promise she made to herself- _ kiss him when you have the chance to- _ but wishing to stall it just a little bit longer, her worries getting the better of her.

"Oh, I still have your sweater," Rey goes to stand up and grab the sweater from her bag but is stopped by the large warm hand of Ben Solo, placed on her arm.

"Keep it," Ben murmurs, adding "it suits you,". Rey has to bring a hand to her face to somehow hide the adamant blush that flushes her face in an instant. She lays down on the bed, head-to-head with Ben.

"Thanks," she manages to whisper. Ben stares back at her, his gaze unwavering.

"Would you like to see the drawing I'm working on?" Ben asks her intensely, and Rey's face lights up immediately. She rolls to one side, smiling at Ben from ear to ear.

"Would I ever!" she exclaims, sitting up. Ben beams back, hopping off the bed momentarily to grab his sketchbook from his backpack.

"Before I show this to you," Ben speaks up, clutching the intriguing leather-bound book in one hand and running a hand through his hair with the other "I'd just like to say, uh, that I hope this doesn't change the way you see me," Rey knows that Ben's nervous by the way his bottom lip trembles between words.

"What I mean to say is, at the very least, I hope I can still be your friend," he adds, biting his plush bottom lip as soon as the words leave his mouth. Rey senses that this is very hard for him to say, but her mind is too distracted by the last word that came out of his mouth.

Friend. Ben wanted them to stay friends. Does that mean… Rey was being friend-zoned?

Before she can ask, Ben is sitting down next to her on the bed, opening the book and flicking through it page by page. Rey's eyes catch the beautiful and intricate sketches she's sneakily laid eyes on before, including the first drawing she'd seen of his, of the sad young boy with no eyes.

And then he lands on the final page of the book, and Rey freezes like a fawn in the blue moon's beam.

On the page is a portrait of a girl with a strong jawline and arched brows, cute as a button nose and elvish ears. Strands of hair outline the girl's face, though most of her hair is tied back into three loose buns. Her lips are upturned in a half-smile, mischievous by nature, and scattered across her nose, cheeks, and forehead is a constellation of delicate freckles, each one unique and perfectly placed. The only thing that was missing, of course, was the eyes.

"I hope it's alright," Ben's voice is soft beside her, yet ever so present, and he's so close she can feel the way his breath leaves tingles on her neck.

"And, oh god, if you think I'm an absolute creep, feel free to run away from me and never look back," he groans, and Rey has to dig her nails into the blankets they sit on to stop herself from reaching out and--

Her. The drawing that Ben Solo had poured endless hours on, had kept a secret all this time, sketching secretly during lessons, every time he'd felt he failed in art class. Ben had been drawing Rey.

Ben wasn’t friend-zoning Rey. He was scared for what her reaction would be to seeing how many hours he’d spent creating her likeness.

"It's perfect," Rey whispers, reaching out to touch the drawing as if she couldn't believe it was real. Tears well in her eyes, and she turns to Ben, looking up at him through her watery vision, his beautiful face swimming above hers.

"Hey," he says softly, reaching up to gently wipe a tear that trickles down her face. And then Rey lays a hand over his, and  _ everything changes _ .

She's not sure who leans in first, who grabs who's face. All Rey knows is that she and Ben inch closer and closer, until their noses touch, and mouths hover millimeters apart. And then their mouths meet, and just like that, they're kissing. Rey's lips on Ben's, and Ben's on Rey's, and it's so soft, so longing, hungry even. Yet overwhelmingly fulfilled, and overjoyed that the moment has finally come for their lips to meld in the most intimate and delicate of embraces.

Rey's hands slide up from Ben's face and tangle into his hair, and oh how she's dreamed of running her fingers through his dark and silky locks. Ben's huge palms cup Rey's face like it's the most precious thing in the world, stroking her jaw as they explore one another's mouths, a symphony of lips and tongues and the odd touch of teeth.

His tongue traces the outline of her mouth and she grants him entrance, savoring him like the sweetest treat, licking and sucking and nibbling, pressing deeper and deeper into their kiss, into their connection.

It feels like an eternity has passed as their lips come apart, a lifetime even, and for Rey it may as well be. She and Ben break apart, leaning back to look into each other's eyes, and their faces glow with happiness. Rey feels like a whole new person.

"Ben," Rey's words barely fill the air, a mere outline of his name that escapes her mouth in disbelief.

"Rey," Ben whispers back to her, his words stronger than hers, and it comforts her, as his voice always does.

She hums contentedly then, leaning into Ben's broad chest. He envelopes her in his arms, strong and formidable, stroking the baby hairs on the back of her neck. The moment is theirs, and Rey embraces it wholly.

From above her, Rey hears Ben open his mouth as if he were to speak, only for the words to die before they could pass his lips.

"What is it?" she asks softly, looking up at him through her lashes. The worry on his face is plain to see, making Rey's heart jolt in reaction.

"I… I need to ask you something," Ben replies, voice shaky. Whatever is on his mind is taking a toll. Rey slides her hands down his arms to intertwine his fingers with hers.

"Anything," she whispers, her heart skipping a beat. She bites her cheek, trying not to spiral into anxiety.

Ben loosens his hands from her gentle hold then, hooking a thumb into the hem of her oversized sweater sleeve, and slowly lifts it to the elbow. The breath hitches in Rey's throat as she looks down at the yellowing bruises and scabbing scratches that violate her arms. A reminder of her hardships, the horrors she's endured.

"What happened, Rey?" Ben's voice breaks as he speaks, and Rey realizes it's just as painful for him to look at them as it is for her. She feels sorrow and gratitude hit her like a tidal wave.

Rey wants to cover her arm back up, cower in a corner and run away and lash out all at the same time, but she instead looks up at Ben's face, counting his moles to ground her. One on the side of his nose, another beneath his eye. A third sitting high on his cheekbone, a cluster dotted on his neck. With each count, she feels her will getting stronger.

She stands up, taking her sweater off in one fell swoop to leave her in her short sleeved shirt, revealing the splatter of damage across her bare arms.

"What I told you is true, most of it comes from hunting scrap metal," she's focusing her eyes on the cuts and bruises but dares to glance up to see the reaction on his face. His lips are parted, eyes wide. He looks unhinged, but nods at her to go on.

Rey continues.

"But there's something else, something I haven't told anyone about," she confesses, and Rey spares not a breath more to delay telling all to Ben. About selling scrap metal to Unkar Plutt, the school janitor with a vendetta for her. How he'd been vengeful after her spray-paint prank, deciding to let it out on her by stealing her hard-earned scrap, and shoving her to the ground when she put up a fight. Leaving her hurt, penniless, and feeling so alone.

"It isn't the first time it's happened," Rey chokes through tears that have yet to fall.

"And it won't be the last." she finishes, and reaches for her sweater, pulling it over her head, covering the painful reminders.

"No," Ben replies through gritted teeth, and when Rey pops her head through her sweater hole she's greeted to the sight of him towering over her.

"It won't happen again. I'll make sure of it." Ben's eyes are wild, a muscle under his left eye twitching. He clenches his fists.

"I'll mess that fucker up so bad for what he did to you--"

"Ben, no! You'd get in so much trouble… Besides, if Plutt's getting messed up by anyone, it's by me. I'll show him," Rey shakes her head, taking a step back.

"Remember what I said, Rey? When I walked you home?" Ben's voice is stern, though his fury is fading. He closes the space between them again, taking her in his arms and resting his face in her hair. 

"You're not alone. You don't have to handle this by yourself," he reassures her, and he's soft once more. Rey relaxes in his arms.

"Not alone," Rey repeats, closing her eyes and taking in the moment, this feeling.

"I respect that you don't want me to teach him a lesson, but what if I help train you instead?" Ben asks, taking Rey by the shoulders and looking at her with pleading eyes. His bottom lip trembles.

"Train me?" Rey asks, tilting her head.

Ben walks over to the corner of the room, picking up a long, dark stick. He twirls it in his hands with ease.

"Bojutsu. I train you to fight with a Bo staff, you go kick Unkar's ass, and he never bothers you again." Ben suggests, and Rey admires the confidence in his actions as he spins the staff, eyebrow raised in concentration.

Ben Solo is in his element, and Rey loves the sight of it.

"Deal." Rey agrees immediately, thrilled at the thought of putting Unkar in his place, and Ben hands her a light bamboo stick that's considerably shorter than his.

"Here, this was my training staff," Ben explains as he gives it to her. Rey takes it into her hands, spinning it as Ben had, though slower and more cautiously. She feels Ben's warm eyes on her, sees the smile breaking out on his face.

"Why's it so much smaller than yours?" Rey asks, holding up her staff to Ben's to compare the sizes.

"Shorter people need a shorter staff, so they can better control their hits," he explains, and Rey cocks an eyebrow in reaction.

"Are you calling me short?" Rey asks, feigning offense as she pokes him with the end of her staff.

Ben takes a step towards her that closes the space between them. He towers over her, broad-shouldered and big-boned, leaning down to whisper.

"I think that speaks for itself." he quips.

"Point taken." Rey giggles, and dares to stand on her tip-toes, reaching up to plant a peck on Ben's lips. He melts into her kiss, cradling the back of her head to deepen it.

When they break apart they're both a little breathless, wide-eyed as if they can't quite believe it's all real.

"Want to start learning about Bojutsu?" Ben asks Rey, and she eagerly nods in reply.

═════ ∘◦ ☽ ◦∘ ═════

"Okay, that's enough for tonight. You did amazing, Rey." Ben and Rey collapse sideways onto the bed again, Bo staffs rolling onto the ground. Ben had just spent the past hour teaching Rey the very basics of Bojutsu- from the history of the ancient form of martial arts to different techniques of the staff, and even the philosophy behind it: considering the staff as an extension of your limbs.

"It's getting late, I should get back, uh," Rey speaks, her sentence trailing into silence as she wonders what to call the place she rests her head. Not a house, not a home. It was nothing to Rey.

"Of course. I can drive you," Ben nods, placing his hand over hers in an act of comfort.

Rey turns on her side, intertwining her fingers with Ben's as they lean in to kiss each other once more.

There are two short knocks on Ben's bedroom door, and before he can answer Leia bursts in, a bundle of fresh laundry in her arms.

"Rey sweetie, I just noticed how late it is, and I was wondering if you'd like to stay over tonight? We have a guest room and--"

Leia looks up to find Rey and Ben laying on the bed, hand in hand. They shoot up at once, red-faced.

Leia stands there, dumbfounded, and for a moment Rey fears she's made her angry. Until a huge smile breaks across Leia's face and she howls with glee, slapping her legs as she chants.

"I told him! I told Luke so! Two weeks and you'd be smooching-- that sucker owes me twenty bucks!" she exclaims and leaves the room before Ben or Rey can react.

"Twenty bucks?" Rey mumbles, baffled.

"They bet on us?" Ben whispers. just as confused.

They stare at each other, watching their faces get slowly redder.

And then they burst into an uncontrollable bout of wholesome laughter.

"Your ears!" Rey snorts, stroking Ben's bright-red ears.

"Your freckles look like they're on fire." Ben chokes through the laughter, bringing his hands up to run his thumbs across Rey's cheeks.

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"You sure you don't want to stay the night? It's no trouble." Ben asks as he starts the beetle.

"I think I need to process that your mom and Luke bet on us kissing before I can face her again," Rey confesses, and Ben chuckles in reply. He pulls out of the drive and they start the nighttime journey to Jakku trailer park.

Rey admires Ben in the moonlight as he drives, the way the leaves dance across his chiseled face. She notices his knuckles are white from gripping the steering wheel so tight, and she feels compelled to ask him what's on his mind.

Before she can open her mouth, she gets her answer.

"What are you up to this weekend?" Ben asks, his voice calm despite the tenseness of his body "I was thinking we could catch a movie, or go for dinner. Or bowling, oh, and there's the arcade. Or even an art gallery! Whatever you'd like." he speaks so fast that he leaves himself a little breathless.

"Like, go on a date?" Rey asks softly. The car comes to a stop at a traffic light on a deserted country lane, and Ben turns to look at Rey, eyes alight as if by a blue flame in the moonlight.

"Yes, please," he confirms, and Rey is thankful that the night hides the furious blush that creeps up on her face.

"I really like you, Rey. In fact, it's been almost impossible to keep you off my mind since we first met."

"Ben," Rey gasps, feeling like the wind has been knocked out of her. Ben's heartfelt words hit her in a rush of affection.

"I feel the exact same way," she confesses, reaching her hand across the gear shift and placing it on Ben's. He sighs contentedly in reaction to her touch.

"I'd love to go on a date with you, Ben Solo." Rey confirms, giving his hand a squeeze. The beam that spreads across Ben's face fills Rey up with such warmth and joy.

"I think we'll have to narrow down where to go, though," she adds jokingly, giggling as Ben's smile turns into a cute embarrassed grimace.

"Maybe you could help me finish the drawing first?" Ben suggests, and Rey's eyes light up.

"I'd love nothing more. It was so beautiful, Ben. I couldn't believe it." Rey sighs dreamily, thinking back to the entrancing work in progress drawing.

"All thanks to you, Rey," Ben replies, rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb.

"You're my muse." Ben says.

It's one of those moments where life doesn't feel real, Rey thinks to herself. The late-night breeze slips through the cracked open windows, dancing strands of hair about her face. The scent of dewed-grass and the woody floral scents of Ben's cologne fill her senses. 

The sounds of the countryside whisking by, as they speed down the empty highway. And the sight of Ben Solo, in all his softness and sweetness and tallness, sitting right beside her.

It's all too much for Rey. Her heart feels so full of gratitude, of love. She vows to herself right then to share that love every day with Ben.

Rey has never felt happier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there it is. they actually kissed. our soft, angsty, awkward babies finally kissed!  
> and the moment both brings me joy and sadness, because this means that the next chapter will be the last. a bittersweet feeling.


	12. home is in your arms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben made it his goal to make Rey see just how much she deserved love, safety, affection, and peace. And in return, he found the tranquility and acceptance that he hadn't even realized he was missing in his life. Not until Rey.
> 
> The way her face lit up every time he walked into a room. How she would leave little notes tucked into his sketchbook, filled with smiley faces, or "Have a good day!" scrawled on them, or notes filled with XOs. How she sensed when he was feeling down, or lost, or angry at the world, and that she was always there to listen and talk him through his struggles.
> 
> But their love also grew through a mutual understanding of one another. As the days passed by, he watched Rey open up to him more and more, like the petals of a blooming flower.
> 
> Flowers have a certain fragility though, Ben thought as he gazed at Rey. And if there was one thing Rey wasn't, it was fragile. No, she was feral. Which to Ben meant only one thing.
> 
> "You're ready," Ben whispers, taking a stride towards her and gripping her staff, leaning over it until his nose is almost touching hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long wait between this chapter and the last <3 life has been pretty crazy lately, regardless of everything else that's going on in the world. i hope everyone's safe and finding the happiness they can these days. here is the final chapter of this fic! warning: this is super duper soft & cheesy, but i guess you're expecting that by now?

[ ](https://imgur.com/mIv5Vbd)

"HEE-YAH!!"  
The bojutsu staff whips through the air at break-neck speed, landing squarely on Ben Solo's abs. The force of it sends him stumbling, grasping onto the railing of the rooftop for support.

"Maker! You sure pack a punch, sweetheart." Ben looks at Rey between his locks of hair and his heart swells at the sight of her.

Her teeth are bared, lips pouted, and breath releasing in short pants. Knuckles white from gripping the staff with such ferocity. Eyes glinting with determination, a look Ben knows all too well as her urge to train over and over, with one goal in mind.

It had been six months since Ben and Rey had first kissed, and their relationship had blossomed like nature awakening in spring. Once they no longer denied their feelings for each other, falling in love couldn't have been any easier. 

Their bond developed through their shared love of art, dreaming all day of their next big painting project, spending lunches cooped up in the library, whispering over art history books and artist biographies.

Even though the two weeks of Rey's mandatory art class had gone by she had stayed on indefinitely, not to anyone's surprise, least of all Ben's. Principal Skywalker did raise an eyebrow to see her there on the third week, however, though Ben believed it to be his poker face, trying to hide that he and Leia had bet on Ben and Rey to kiss within a couple of weeks of knowing each other.

He had berated his Uncle in a twenty-minute, denial-filled, very embarrassed rant over that, much to Luke and Leia's amusement.

Evenings after art class were almost always at the Organa house. It began with Leia finding any excuse she could to invite Rey over. Working on projects with Ben, picking up things she'd left the last time she was there, but soon no reason was needed. It was expected for Rey to join them for dinner.

However, whenever Rey was invited to stay the night she refused, a fact that struck pain through Ben's heart. At first, he wasn't sure why, but he soon came to understand.

His sweet Rey didn't want to be a burden. Each time he thought about it he shook his head in disbelief, wondering how someone so deserving of love could be so selfless. But as Ben grew to learn more about the hardships of Rey's life, that sad fact made sense.

Not to mention how she had to practically fight for her life, hunting for scrap metal to survive, something that she'd sworn Ben to not tell a soul, not even his mother. 

It agonized him to know that she was suffering, but he treasured her trust more than anything, and so he would embark on bi-monthly visits to the scrapyard to help her hunt, his lips firmly sealed.

Ben made it his goal to make Rey see just how much she deserved love, safety, affection, and peace. And in return, he found the tranquility and acceptance that he hadn't even realized he was missing in his life. Not until Rey.

The way her face lit up every time he walked into a room. How she would leave little notes tucked into his sketchbook, filled with smiley faces, or "Have a good day!" scrawled on them, or notes filled with XOs. How she sensed when he was feeling down, or lost, or angry at the world, and that she was always there to listen and talk him through his struggles.

But their love also grew through a mutual understanding of one another. As the days passed by, he watched Rey open up to him more and more, like the petals of a blooming flower.

Flowers have a certain fragility though, Ben thought as he gazed at Rey. And if there was one thing Rey wasn't, it was fragile. No, she was feral. Which to Ben meant only one thing.

"You're ready," Ben whispers, taking a stride towards her and gripping her staff, leaning over it until his nose is almost touching hers.  
"You're ready to fight Unkar."

Rey's face lights up at Ben's words, sending warmth through Ben's chest like the ray of sunshine she is, and her grin is contagious. Their boju staffs scatter to the ground as Rey leaps into his arms, and Ben spins them around until they're dizzy and giggling in joy.

Once Ben comes to a stop he holds Rey close, pressing a kiss into her hair as he holds back the excitement that washes over him. It threatens to spill out over his lips, spoiling the surprise he's been planning for so long.

For Rey being well-trained enough to fight Unkar didn't just mean the grumpy janitor would be taught a lesson. It meant that Ben could finally ask Rey the question he's been holding back.

═════ ∘◦ ☽ ◦∘ ═════

"Hey, asshole. Got a bone to pick with you."

The choked snort of shock that leaves Unkar's mouth is amusing enough to Rey, but the utterly baffled look on his face is even funnier. The side of her mouth cocks into an involuntary smirk as she strides towards him, bojutsu staff sitting firmly on her back.

When Unkar realizes the source of the voice is the tiny thing that's Rey, he asks her in his gravelly, monotonous tone.  
"What do you want, you little rat?" 

"You've been underpaying me for my scrap for months and I've had enough. Pay me back what you owe or you'll regret it." Rey's voice is unwavering, powerful even, and Rey herself is taken aback by it. Knowing she has the boju staff on her back, and the power to use it gives Rey a mental strength she'd never felt before.

All thanks to Ben, she notes mentally, the image of his gentle face flashing in her mind.

Unkar throws his head back in mocking laughter. The other loiterers that sit beside him outside the scrap yard join in, sending Rey's blood riled up and boiling. The perfect concoction to kick Plutt's arse into next week. He glances at Rey through bouts of laughter, but once he sees her standing her ground, his demeanor changes.

"You sure you don't want to take those words back, rat? Unless you want me to buy another bag of metal from you for nothing?" Unkar growls at Rey, and the air is immediately thick with tension. Rey digs her nails into her palm, breathing deeply before she speaks.

"Stand up and fight me, you boorish oaf!" she shouts, spitting on the ground for good measure. Unkar rises from his seat in an instant, taking huge, ground-shaking strikes towards her in blinding rage, clearly embarrassed at Rey's verbal insults in front of his friends.

"Stupid girl, I'll teach you better than that school--" Unkar Plutt's words are cut short, as Rey's bojutsu staff makes hard contact with his jaw in an almightly crack.

And Rey doesn't stop.

She hits and slashes, smacks and jabs, dodging and ducking under Unkar's every swing, channeling every injustice she'd suffered at the hands of this man to give her the strength to fight, to put him in his place.

"Give. Me. My. Money!" She roars, finishing her routine with a hit straight on the belly to wind him, just as Ben had taught her. It sends Plutt straight onto the muddy ground and Rey advances to stand over him, pointing the staff in his face with her teeth bared.

"Okay, okay, fine! Please, just stop! I'll give you what I owe!" Plutt blubbers, bringing his dirt-clod hands up in surrender as he cowers before Rey. She stares him straight in the beady eyes as if searching for any sign of a lie. She lunges at him once more for good measure, satisfied to see him flinch in response.

Rey backs off, looking up to notice that Unkar's pals have scattered, nowhere to be seen. Not so tough now, she thinks to herself, remembering all the times they'd laughed at her alongside Plutt.

She watches Unkar like a hawk as he scurries to his tattered desk outside the scrapyard, fiddling frantically with the lockbox to pay Rey what he'd withheld from her over the years. As he hands the money to Rey, enough to keep her going for months without needing to hunt for so much as a tin can, she feels a huge weight physically leave her chest.

It was one less burden for Rey to carry, the toxic energy of injustice finally releasing her of its hold. And she had Ben to thank for that, his months of teaching had given her the strength to do this. But also, something Ben would not let her forget, was that this was Rey's doing too. Her inner strength, her determination, had all led to this moment.

She couldn't wait to see Ben the next morning and tell him how things had gone.

═════ ∘◦ ☽ ◦∘ ═════

"Morning lovebirds!" Rey chirps as she squeezes between Rose and Finn to get to her locker, who were about to lock lips before Rey's intervention.

Rey still hung out with Finn and Rose often, and Ben would join them in their escapades to the Resistance Base cafe or sitting under the oak tree during lunch break. The four of them had become a tight-knit group of sorts, finding a balanced dynamic as two couples that are all friends do.

"Rey! How's it going?" Finn asks as Rose pulls her friend into a hug. Rey glances over Rose's shoulder and across the hallway to Ben's locker. She'd usually see him there grabbing his books for the day, but to her surprise, he was nowhere to be seen.

"Not bad- have you guys seen Ben?" Rey asks nonchalantly, pulling some textbooks out of her locker and into her bag. Finn and Rose glance at each other before shaking their heads simultaneously. Rey chews on her lip, eyes trailing to his absent spot by his locker once more.

"I'm sure he'll turn up soon," Rose reassures her with a smile.  
"Yeah, he's probably just running late," Finn adds.

Yet as the day passes by, Ben isn't seen or heard from at all.

He doesn't show up in the first period as Professor Ashoka teaches her social studies class, which Rey knows is one of his favorites. She sends him a message asking if he's alright, but she doesn't get a reply.

They don't share a second period, and during their study hall period, his usual spot is notably absent. Rey studies with Rose and Finn, trying to keep her mind occupied from overthinking where Ben is and why he's not answering her message.

As soon as they break for lunch she whips out her phone again, eager to call Ben and see what the problem is. His cell rings for what seems like forever until he finally answers, voice distant as if he's standing far away from the phone.

"Hello?" Ben calls out, and Rey's worries are eased ever so slightly. He's not ignoring me, what a relief, she thinks to herself.  
"Ben! Hey. Where are you? I haven't seen you today--"

Rey stops talking as she hears a crashing sound on the other end of the line, and Ben's cursing soon follows. She hears him panting as he walks up to his phone and picks it up.  
"I'm sorry Rey, I have to go, but just know everything is alright. I'll meet you at the end of the day at the front doors, okay?"

His voice is soft, deep, and oh so soothing to Rey's soul. She gulps down her nerves, sighing deeply before she replies.  
"Okay," she replies, adding "It's really nice to hear your voice", a tinge of vulnerability in her tone.

"Yours too, sweetheart. I haven't been ignoring you, it's just… Well, I promise everything will make sense soon." he reassures Rey, and the wonderful feeling of trust washes over Rey as she hears it.

Never in life did she think she'd trust anyone's words again, learning all too well from her parents that words were just empty promises. But like most things, Ben had flipped her expectations entirely. She could trust Ben, that she knew.

"I love you," Rey whispers, blinking back the tears that had started to fill her vision.  
"I love you too, my muse," Ben replies, and the call ends.

The day passes by easier after their call.

In between fourth and fifth period, Rey makes a quick detour to the art studio to say hi to Leia. She has a couple of art supplies she'd borrowed from the quirky professor, and though she could have waited until the end of the day to return them, she wanted an excuse to see Leia's kind face.

Rey had grown to feel quite accepted by Leia, liked even, as she was often told that she was "the best thing to happen to Ben since he picked up a paintbrush". Much to Rey's amusement, and almost always followed by a scowl or groan of embarrassment by Ben. 

So it was quite a surprise to Rey when, upon approaching the art corridor that led to Leia's homeroom studio, she would hear her cry out from behind.  
"Wait up! Don't open that door!"

Rey turns around to see Leia jogging to catch up to her.  
"Hey, Leia, I was coming to give back the stuff I borrowed," Rey explains as Leia stops before Rey, leaning against the wall to catch her breath.

"Rey! Don't worry about the art things, I can take them some other time," Leia waves a hand in the air as she speaks, nearly dropping the contents in her arms in the process.

Rey's vision is then drawn to the bundle of tiny lightbulbs in Leia's arms. Bewildered, Rey points to them.  
"What are those for?" she asks, head tilting to one side.

"What? These?" Leia asks as if double-checking what Rey had pointed to. Rey nods, and Leia stares at her, opening and closing her mouth as if speechless.

"Ah yes, the lightbulbs! We're doing a darkroom project. That's why you can't enter the studio, you'll let the light in and spoil the photos." Leia explains all at once, and Rey is a little taken aback by the influx of information.

"Oh, cool. Can I join sometime?" Rey asks, face breaking out into a grin. Photography wasn't Rey's forte, but she still enjoyed anything that involved capturing the real world in a form of art.

Leia looks deep into Rey's eyes, placing a caring hand on her shoulder. The words that Leia speaks are heavy as if there is more meaning behind them than Rey realizes right now.  
"Of course you can, Rey. You're always welcome."

As Rey says goodbye and heads to fifth period, she hears Leia call to her from the art corridor.  
"See you at dinner tonight! We're having chili sin carne, your favorite!"

The thought of Leia's delicious homemade food leaves Rey with a spring in her step for the short rest of the day.

═════ ∘◦ ☽ ◦∘ ═════

The final bell of the day rings throughout Naboo High, and Rey is up and out of her chair faster than a bojutsu stick can hit Plutt in the face.

She says a hasty farewell to Rose and Finn who exchange the same knowing glance they had shared this morning, before waving goodbye and wishing Rey a "wonderful, lovely, fantastic" evening, their enthusiasm striking her as a little odd.

Rey doesn't stop to dwell on the thought as she's far too eager to head outside, remembering Ben's promise to meet her once the day is over.

She shoves her way through the heavy teak doors and onto the front grounds, flying down the front steps, vision darting back and forth to look for any sign of her Ben.

"Over here, sunbeam." his voice calls from behind her, and she looks up to see him standing beside the front doors she'd barged through a moment earlier.

An unstoppable grin breaks across Rey's face at the sight of Ben, and she takes him in as he stands at the top of the steps. He's looking casual yet sleek in his white shirt, jeans, and boots ensemble. How he finds clothes that fit him so well Rey can only wonder, considering the sheer size of him.

The way the shirt strains at the sleeves under the pressure of his arms, flexing as they cross over each other. His hair has grown longer since he first came into her life, the dark locks curling under his chin and sitting at the base of his neck, tickling Rey's face every time he pulls her in for a deep kiss. He'd grown a bit of stubble too, the dark scruff that covers his chin and upper lip giving a whole new definition to his face.

"I've missed you today," Rey admits, walking up the steps towards him. He begins to descend towards her.  
"My little Rey of sunshine, you can't begin to imagine," Ben replies cheesily, causing a giggle to slip from Rey's mouth. 

They meet in the middle of the concrete stairs, and Ben stretches out a hand towards Rey, palm facing upward, like a prince in a Disney movie asking the princess for her hand.

"Would you care to join me?" Ben asks though Rey hears the slight tremble nervousness in his voice.  
"Join you in what?" Rey wonders, a cheeky smirk playing on her lips as she plays along, slipping her hand into his.  
"You'll see," Ben utters in her ear cryptically, and she's whisked up the steps and back into the school building.

It isn't until they're standing in the art corridor, a stone's throw away from the studio door, that Ben stops walking. He turns to Rey, stroking her hand with his large thumb and forefinger, before letting go to retrieve a blindfold from his pocket.

"Would you mind?" He asks, holding up the blindfold and smiling sheepishly.  
"Oh!" Rey exclaims, "I don't need that, I already know!" she reassures Ben, and to Rey's surprise, his face drops.

"Already… know?" he stammers, his olive-toned eyes wide and full bottom lip trembling.  
"Yeah, about the photography stuff! I ran into your mom earlier today, she was collecting lightbulbs for the darkroom." Rey nods eagerly, her smile turning to a grin as Ben smiles too, placing the blindfold over her eyes as he shakes his head.

He tucks her hair behind her ears, as Rey often wears it in a half-up half-down style now, and ties a delicate bow at the back of her head.

"Sure you do, sweetheart." Ben murmurs, his voice low and gravelly. He then presses his lips against hers eagerly. It's as if fireworks explode behind Rey's eyes as they kiss, the deep reds of passion, the bright yellow of the warming sun, vibrant green of nature in bloom. And Rey kisses back, with all the hunger and need that she can muster.

They somehow manage to break apart from each other, and Ben leads Rey into the art studio with his warm palm on the small of Rey's back. The comforting smell of fresh canvas paper and paint fills her nostrils, the creak of the rustic wooden floorboards is all she hears. The warmth of the evening sun seeping through the floor-to-ceiling windows on her skin.

"Okay, this can come off now," Ben utters, his breath hot in Rey's ear. With one gentle tug the blindfold slips off from Rey's eyes, and a magical sight lays before her.

At first, the brightness of the room blinds her.

Blinking rapidly, Rey adjusts her eyes to the abundance of warm light that fills the room. She looks up, to see hundreds of string lights hanging from the ceiling beams, glowing like droplets of sun raining down on her.

"Ben, this is…" Rey breathes, unable to even find the words for what this is. She can only think of how it feels. 

Like a hot drink on a chilly day. Like slipping into a bubble bath, hugged by the suds that stick to your skin. Like wearing Ben's toasty oversized sweater, not minding about the hole on the front. It felt like Ben's love for her.

"If that makes you speechless, you should look down," Ben chuckles as he stands behind her, tilting her chin down gently so her eyes land on the contents of the room.

Rey loses her breath at the sight of it. Scattered about the studio, propped up on tables, chairs, and easels, are the heaps of artwork she and Ben had worked on in the past half-year.

Starting with their pendant paintings they had begun six months ago, sitting proudly on twin easels. The first sketch of Rey that Ben had ever drawn, now finished and shaded smoothly. Scattered around it were the tens of other sketches that inevitably came after.

And then there was the rest of the art- all the mediums they had explored during Leia's art class, from sculptures and pottery to paintings and drawings. All of which told the story of how their love had grown, starting with a dusky evening in this very art studio.

"I wanted you to see how wonderful, talented, and creative you are," Ben speaks gently as he stands Rey's side. She looks up at him, blinking away the tears that fill her vision.

"How wonderful, talented, and creative we are." Rey corrects him, giving him a playful nudge on the bicep.

"Ben, this is incredible. I can't even explain how happy this makes me," Rey stammers, eyes wide like saucers as she surveys the room.  
"You don't have to," Ben assures her, placing his large finger on her lips. She kisses it out of habit, eyes locked on his.

"So this is what you've been up to all day?" Rey asks, looking around the room once more. She practically feels the serotonin rush through her brain at the sight of it.  
"Yup, Mom's been helping me with it, too. Says I owe her a month's worth of art-store visits." Ben smiles.

"But why today of all days? I didn't think we'd celebrate our half-year anniversary," Rey asks softly.

"O-of course not, besides, that's not until next week" Ben replies clumsily, a pinkness rising to his ears, and Rey bites her lips. Oh, he is totally planning something for their half-year anniversary.

"No, this is for another reason. Now that you've kicked Plutt's backside into oblivion," Ben explains, but Rey is quick to cut him off.  
"How did you know that didn't go terribly? You haven't even asked," Rey teases, and Ben rolls his eyes.

"You really think creaky-bones Plutt ever had a chance against you? Never," Ben jokes back, and a wave of pride washes over her.  
"I mean, of course I want the details. But I had no doubt in my mind that you'd succeed," Ben takes a deep breath of air before continuing to speak "and now that you have…"

Rey watches the way Ben's mouth forms into a thin line, chin trembling in a tell-tale sign of unspoken words. And knowing Ben so well now, she stays silent, patiently waiting for him to continue.

"I have something to ask you," The words rush out of Ben's mouth and Rey can't help but smile sweetly as they do. She nods eagerly, eyebrows raised, curious.

"Re, in the time I've known you, I've seen how much you struggle just to survive. And I know that's just a fraction of what you've dealt with in your life. Yet you do it with such grace, and you still manage to light up the world around you like a ray of sun." Ben gulps, trying to hold back the tears that threaten him from choking up.

"But you don't deserve what you go through, not any of it. Not the scrap picking, not Plutt, not being alone, not having absent parents." Ben exhales again, and Rey takes the brief moment of silence to blink back her tears, taking one of Ben's hands in her own to steady herself.  
"You deserve love. A family. A safe place to rest your head. You deserve a home, Rey,"

Ben reaches into his pocket, pulling out a small silver key and placing it in Rey's palm.

"Come and live with my mom and I. Don't think for a second that you're a burden, you know we both adore you. You can have your own room, your own space to decorate as your own. Our home will be yours. Please?"

Rey can't stop the tears that fall from her eyes as she looks down at the key in her hand. She turns it over, a teardrop landing on it. She looks up at Ben, sighing happily as he wipes her face with the warm pads of his thumbs.

And she nods.  
"Yes. Yes!" Ben exclaims, picking Rey up in an almighty lung-crushing bear hug, and they both laugh and cry as relief washes over them.

"I love you, Rey." Ben murmurs, leaning down to press his lips to hers.  
"I love you, Ben." She whispers back the moment before their lips meet.

Ben wraps his arms around Rey tighter and she clutches onto him. The metal key digs into the palm of her hand, grounding her, reminding her that she has a home now. A real home, where she is safe, she is loved, and a place where she has a family.

Something stirs inside of her, then. A realization of sorts, once clouded by the struggles of surviving that she'd had faced for as long as she could remember. Now she didn't have to just survive, she could see things so clearly.

Rey had found home long ago, for she had found it the first time Ben Solo had put his arms around her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🥺🥺🥺 our babies are finally together and safe and happy!
> 
> this fic has honestly been so therapeutic to write. it began as a prompt from reyreybutt's au generator, and though i had some direction i didn't plan on when it would end, or how, or where. i just knew ben and rey had to be happy!
> 
> thank you to everyone that's read and enjoyed my writing, i'm trying to build up the confidence to write my own stories and your kindness has really helped! <3
> 
> this will also be goodbye from me as i'm moving on from the sw fandom. tros was too much of a punch in the gut, and 8 months later it looks like dlf have only dug their heels in harder with how they did so many characters, and actors dirty. thank you for the awesome times, reylos. i wish you all the very best!!


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